No Loan Mod Update

Waiting, waiting, waiting.....It's driving me crazy.

I'm a little crazy and anxious to begin with, but waiting to hear about our loan modification is making me even more anxious. We need to know Bof A. This bullshit of keeping us waiting 3 months, all the while making payments that are currently 60% of our income is dizzyingly stressful.

I would be fine if we knew that we were going to walk away from the house. At least there would be a plan and days to look forward too when there will be cash in our pockets. But no. That's not the way it works. We wait three-four months to find out if we get a loan modification, what the modification is and then we get a trial period of three months. Then, from what I've heard and read, we have another huge round of waiting and paperwork that not many people make it through in order to make the modification permanent.

I'm trying to stay positive. I'm reading up on all my positive thinking strrategies, but thinking good thoughts about Bank of America is really hard to do. I've still got two more weeks before I can call again to get put on the expedited list. I keep hoping it won't take that long and one of these days I'll get a huge envelope in the mail, or an express envelope from UPS. Then I can breathe easy and know what the future holds. I like to be able to plan things at laest 3-4 months out as far as finances go and this is wrecking any and all new year planning. I can't handle it. I have to be in control and know what is going on and this is throwing a wrench into my system.

Free Architecture.... Again

So I've been getting a lot of hits on my post from last year regarding Free Architecture Advice. I'm still game. I will try and respond as quickly as possible, but with all the crap going on around here. It might take a little while (sorry Melissa T.).

Now don't get too excited about what you're going to get for free. Legally there are things I can and can't give away free. Hit me with your best questions and we'll see what happens.

If it is something major like a foundation, beam, or roof issue, most likely my response is going to be call a registered architect or structural engineer in your city/state.

If it's a design issue and it doesn't involve me creating pages and pages of intricate drawings I'll throw you my best design opinion.

If you've got a question about the process of working with an architect, engineer, or your local building department, hell yeah, I'll walk you through it.

This should be fun.

I was just telling one of my out of work architect friends that with all the out of work architects we should be doing something architecture related even if we aren't getting paid for it. Of course my first option was helping to rebuild Haiti, but they aren't anywhere near rebuilding. But with all of us architects out there just chomping at the bit to do something in our field, free architecture seems the way to go.

Are we undervaluing our services? Shit yeah, but there are still people out there that need design help.

The Aftermath

The Bookstore

The Ice Rink

The Ice Rink

We are still digging out. I am hoping that there is school tomorrow or else I will go insane.

Photos courtesy of the AZ Daily Sun.

Rambling Winter Post

I am beyond frustrated. Why does it have to be this hard? The snow isn't helping. The children being home for the past 9 days isn't helping. My weeks are filled with doing things for other people. I guess that's fine. I am a mother and that is supposed to be my job. I'm good at that job. The only problem is that it doesn't pay a dime. I help my husband, pay the bills, shop, make lunches and dinner and breakfasts, do the laundry, shovel when I can, do the books for 2 different businesses and that is all that I do.

Every so often I get time to come here and update things and talk about what I would really like to be doing, but it just seems like a far away dream. What if I had a lot of architecture projects? What if my rug business was going strong? What if I was writing and getting published? Who would take care of the businesses? Who would take care of the kids, stay home with them when they are sick or have a week of snow days? Who would help my husband deliver packages when he is overwhelmed? Who would open the check cashing business when my parents are out of town?    But what if I was busy and everyone just found someone else to help them? What if I wasn't available to help at the drop of a pin and come running to everyone's call? Would they just find another way to do it themselves? Would they resent the fact that I couldn't help?

I don't know. All I know is that I want to do something for myself and be successful at it. I want to take care of my husband and my kids and be there for them and still be able to do something that is mine. I want to have money again. It has been so long. I want to do things other than sit here and write. I want to be able to shop places other than Target, Safeway, and the used book store (which is now non-existant). I want more and I don't know how to get it from where I am at and I need help that only money seems to be able to buy.

I'm a downer today, but it gets old seeing other people succeed while I flounder. I feel like I'm trapped and can't find my way out of the life that I have created for myself. I think the first step in moving on will be getting rid of this giant house and the money pit that it seems to be for us. I'm torn. I love this house, but I'm not willing to give up on the other things that I want just in order to keep this monstrous house. Would we just be doing it for the money? Will money really make us happier if in order to get that money we have to give up the stability of owning a home? I don't know. Is it greed that keeps us here with all of our things, or will it be greed that moves us from this house back down the ladder to renting.

Arghhhh. I miss those days so long ago when we had a rent payment of $600, a cute little apartment in downtown Fullerton within walking distance of everything, 1 cute fat little baby, and the world was our oyster.

Snow, Dooce on HGTV, and me

First off let me say that there is over 5' of snow in my yard and surrounding my house. FIVE FEET OF SNOW. It is ridiculous and it is dangerous and it is stifling. It's not safe for the kids to play outside. There are loaders and graders and tractors everywhere trying to move the snow..... but move it where? The piles are already over 8' high on the sides of my garage. My husband is out now on a Saturday trying to deliver packages, but the snow plows are nowhere near getting to the residential neighborhoods in town. He will be backed up all week and out delivering until 8:00 pm. It's going to be another long week. Oh and did I mention that two of my favorite places are non-existant anymore due to roof collapses...... the ice rink and Bookmans have been demolished by the weight of 5' of snow on their roofs. I doubt they will be built again due to the horrible economy.

I was also stunned to learn the Dooce, aka Heather Armstrong, just got a delvelopment deal with HGTV. What the hell is that? She's a graphic designer. How does that have anything to do with Home and Garden Television? I have no idea. I am flabbergasted. I am stunned that she able to live on her advertising revenue for a blog that,while entertaining, does not seem enough to make a living on. It is mind botteling to quote Will Farrell. I write this little blog. I like to think that I am somewhat amusing and entertaining, but how do I get to where Dooce is?

I am an architect so what do I have to do to get my own show on HGTV? My first show pitch would be called, "Your Neighbor's House". It would have all the voyeurism of House Hunters, only it would just be ordinary people who sent in pictures of amazing houses in their neighborhood that they have always wanted to see the inside of. Is it the giant mansion on the lake?, the crazy haunted looking house on the corner, or the reclusive author who lives on the hill?. We all have houses in our own neighborhoods that we wonder about, and this show would be a chance to peek inside them. I would be the host of course and maybe it would even document the phone call or meeting of HGTV asking the unsuspecting homowners if the cameras and the neighbor could come in for a look around.

Heather Armstrong...... I love her blog, but HGTV? That seems a bit of a stretch. Call me HGTV and the above mentioned show can be yours.

But What About the Rugs?

I know, I know....what happened to my rugs. I have a ton of excuses. The holidays, the roof, the loan mod, the snow days........ but what it really comes down to is money.

I want to do the rest of my rug stuuf credit card free. It is really putting a damper on moving things forward. I was using my architecture income to pay for everything and now that I have no architecture income I'm at a standstill.

By my estimation I need around $5000 to get it off the ground, to pay for some nice brochures and get my samples made in Nepal. Until that time I am sitting and waiting.

I did however talk to a guy in town who said he would be more than happy to carry my rugs in his store if I can bring him the above mentioned brochures and samples.

I'm close, but not so close that I can actually touch it yet. It's frustrating. I will get there, but it will take time, money, and patience.

In the meantime this is what I've got on the rack right now.

Arizona Snow

Too much snow.

The calm between the storms.

Trying to build a fort, but it's too bright.

This is what it looks like at my house. I'm betting there will be no school all week. So far everyday this week around 3:00 the dark clouds roll in and it starts to snow. We wake up in the morning to another 8-12 inches. It's just enough to have to shovel out again each and every morning. I guess it's better than getting 4' without a break. As I sit at my desk now I can seet he clouds coming in from the west. The worst storm is supposed to start tomorrow.

 The kids are restless. They want to play outside, but it is so cold and wet that I can't let them play more than an hour or so or they are soaked to the bone.

The onlt good thing to come out of the snow storms is that I have had more than enough time to get through almost all of The Lord of the Rings trilogy. I don't know how I would have found the time otherwise.