Waxing LA

So I live in a mountain village. It's cold here. We were a lot of fleece and not-so-attractive sensible shoes. We need our hair. It's cold here and that's what hair is for... to keep ya warm.

With that in mind I keep my hair long, yes of course the hair on my head, I'm no lesbian, but also the hair on my face, again reiterating my non-lesbian status.

In the summer I get my mustache, chin and eyebrows done like every 6-8 weeks. It's summer. It needs to be done. But in the winter I slack off, my face just gets too cold and chapped. I need that extra hair on my face.

But with our trip to LA next weekend I feel the need to go in and get a quick clean-up. I only get that feeling when we go to some city where looking like a cool mountain chick is not an acceptable look. LA is definitely one of those places. You just cannot have a mustache in LA. That's what those border checks are for, not fruit and illegal immigrants, but bad facial hair. They really don't want you in the city if you plan on looking like a neanderthal. It's not allowed.

This was a difficult idea for me to wrap my mind around when I first transplanted to SoCal from Illinois. In Illinois, as in Flagstaff, facial hair is a necessity. I had never heard of waxing in Illinois. I mean sure you might get your undercarriage waxed for a vacation, but your face? Never.

I come from a long line of hairy German women. I myself missed the worst of that gene, but my mother is perfectly content to walk around with a full German woman mustache. My sister who lives permanently in SoCal and has dark facial hair gets herself taken care of frequently so that they allow her to continue her residency. I on the other hand, have the hairy gene, but was blessed with my father's fair skin and hair. I tend to the blond and light brown range, so my mustache is only out of hand when those rogue bristly grey and black hairs pop up and mark me as in need of a waxing.

Yes it hurts, but the results really are mind bottling. It's a small subtle change when your chin is smooth and your eyebrows are perfectly shaped. It really does make you feel like a new woman. So I'm gonna get my smooth on for Rick Steves next week and try and make myself presentable enough to be able to shop at the Grove. I am a mountain woman, but it's February and I need to shed my winter hair.