Paris and 20 Year Reunion

So I bought a new treadmill. It's a good one. A Nordictrack form Sears.
All these years I though my boobs were too big to run, I was buying crappy shoes, I was using the treadmill so much it was hurting my knees, when in reality I had a really shitty treadmill.
I only spent like $300 on it in 2004 and I was still using it last week, even though it sounded like it was chewing on rocks, even though I had to turn my ipod up sooo loud just to cover up the sound of the motor, and my knees would start to hurt after 20 minutes on 3.6 mph.
My new one is the super fancy one with springy shocks. They are so springy that I even started running. I was at 4.0 mph and thought, this is too easy, so I started running.
I know crazy.
It was like butter. So quiet, so smooth. It just made me want to run.
Now I'm not going to go crazy. I'm easing myself into it: walk for 2 minutes, run for 2 minutes for a total of 22 minutes. I'm going to work up to a full 30 minutes of running.
In high school this was how we started every fall and this is how I'm going to run myself back into my high school shape. I won't make it back to 118 pounds, but I hope to get stronger and slimmer and more athletic looking just in time for my 20 year high school reunion this summer and our awesome deferred anniversary trip to Paris in May.
I'm going to rock both Champaign Illinois and Paris.

Offensive Ads

I would like to apologize if the adds you see on this site are offensive. Some are very offensive to me too. I was just going to put some light hearted post about being back and done with school, but decided to look back on what I'd last written before I started and I saw the most horrible add. It was a picture of Pres. Obama and a statement about how, "Obama won't defend the unborn, so you should. Please sign the petition to overturn Roe v Wade."
Please do not think in any way that I support this advertisement. It just pisses me off that people are out there trying to overturn Roe V Wade and are crazy enough to buy blog adds to try and get their message across. How tacky!
I am VERY pro-choice. No one, especially fundamentalist religious people, or old white men, are going to tell me what to do with my body. Women are not just baby machines are should be able to make adult decisions for themselves regardless of the Christian standpoint on abortion or family planning. Arghhhh!
Don't even get me started.
The point of this rant is just not to associate me, or my writing with the ads that are shown on my page. I don't have any control over them.

Are you ready?

I am almost done. I will return triumphantly with a Master's Degree and loads of free time.

Venice Please Be Okay

This just breaks my heart.
It's a city I've never been to, but read extensively about and ofter imagined visiting.
It just has to last long enough so I can visit.

Logging out for a bit

I got on my treadmill this morning and it felt sooooo gooooood.

I was sweaty and warmed up and my endorphins were juicing. I forgot what that felt like. It's way more intense than my yoga and hula hooping.

Once things calm down a little bit I will be back on that puppy every other day.

Mostly I wanted to post today to say that I am going to take a break for a few weeks while I finish up school. I've got too much going on and I can't keep obsessively checking my Blogger stats to see how many page views I have. I have to drop a few things off of my plate for a while.

School is kicking my butt and the holidays are coming up and I seem to be slacking more than usual. I've got to pick up some loose ends and tie them back together.

Until then keep yourselves amused with these two awesome web sites that I found.

http://www.zooborns.com

The Newest, Cutest Animals from the World's Zoo's and Aquariums.

It's now on my list of sites that I check daily. It's just amazing to see all the zoos around the world cooperating to bring this site together. I literally sat in front of this site for an hour when I first saw it.

http://www.floatingsheep.org

Mapping Information. Like how about taking all the racist tweets from after the election and mapping them to location? Guess which states are the most racist. How about a map showing the price of weed across the country? Fascinating stuff. I can't wait to see what these guys map next.

Have a great month. See you December 7th at the latest.

Xanax Please

I'm having a crazy day. I even had to take a little tiny pill in order to calm down. It's nice to have those little pills, but today I think I needed a big pill.

I started the day with my usual bowl of rice krispies, but then things went downhill from there. Maybe it was the donut and chips and salsa at 8:30, the hours of furniture moving and heavy lifting in order to set up the Scholastic Book Fair, the 2 chocolate chip cookies, the left over Halloween candy, who knows, but by the time I got into my car and into traffic I was a sore malnourished cranky crazy woman.
Now nothing horrible happened, just my usual traffic altercation with stupid driver. But it made me feel very out of control and full of rabid anxiety.

After eating a somewhat nutritious meal and thinking about my irrational actions I have come to the conclusion that I need to start getting on my treadmill again. Sure, I've been exercising, but not like I used to. Sit ups and push ups and yoga are not the same as 30 minutes everyday on the treadmill at 4.4 mph.

I've been slipping since summer. It's easy to do what with working on the kid's homework, dinner, household chores, household finances, and whatnot. My first priority when I get home from a day at school is not to get on my treadmill, but it should be

Apparently I forgot that working out, like with sweat and stuff, is an important part of my mental health. I really do go crazy if not exposed to a certain amount of exercise related endorphins. Why did it take me till today to notice that?

Sure it will be a few weeks until I'm able to get back on track, like not until I GRADUATE in 3 weeks. I'm cramming shit in left and right until then. A few papers, a couple of final essays, and a frustrating group project and I am home free. I am hoping my stress level goes down by about half as soon as I turn in that last paper.

Until then I really think some Xanax would be helpful. Why does every celebrity on TV seem to have a  prescription for Xanax, but me, who has panic attacks and a documented case of OCD, can't get my  doctor to prescribe it for me? ARGGH!

Sorry Rick Steves

I completely forgot about Rick when I made my list of things I can't live without.

I am so sorry Rick.

Every night I fall asleep to Rick and his soothing voice as he travels around Europe.  Since I am such an anxious person I need Rick to calm down at night. The beautiful places he visits and the way he describes the history and the inns-and-outs of European travel just relax me enough to shut off my mind and fall asleep.

I saw him a couple of years ago at the LA Travel and Adventure show. I was too awestruck to go up and say hi. I also didn't want to offend him by telling him that he makes me go to sleep. He just feels like a part of my daily life. I mean technically I fall asleep with him every night.
Next time I won't be so shy. I really want to get a photo of the two of us together since he feels like a part of the family.
Some day I will save up enough to go on one of his travel tours.

If you've never heard of Rick, check out his website Rick Steves Europe and check your local PBS listings.

Pay Me to Read, Please!

Can I just please find a job that will pay me to read?

Are you a busy editor? Do you need a reader for you precious manuscript?

I know those jobs are out there, but where? I'm not moving to NYC anytime soon, but can't people just send me books in the mail?

I want the UPS man (and of course the FedEx man too) to being me big packages filled with books everyday.

I want to be required to sit on my couch in front of a cozy fire in a big fluffy fleece blanket with a mug of hot cocoa and read. Sorry kids I'm working/reading. You'll have to make your own dinner.

I want reading deadlines. I want to have to stuff in two books a day. Heck, maybe even three. I'm a fast reader. I already read while I'm cooking, while I'm watching TV, during my lunch break at work, and even during family gatherings. I'll be the one enjoying everyone's company while quietly reading in the corner.

I think I even once bought a book on how to make money reading, but it was full of crap. I'm not a hustler so I have a hard time advertising my services. I'm just hoping if I write enough book reviews on my other blog somebody somewhere will send me a book and $20 with a note saying, "Can you please read this and let me know what you think?"

I would jump up and down and praise the Lord and quit my $10/hour job.

10 Things I Can't Live Without

This is the headline of one of my favorite features in Elle Magazine, or is it Elle Decor? I can't remember. Anyway, I often imagine myself as a famous designer and tastemaker who is featured in the magazine and asked to provide my list of 10 things that I just can't live without.

So today I made my list.

1. Altoids

I eat these puppies each and every day. They are great for a mid-afternoon snack, or a quick breath check after eating too much pork.






2. Vaseline

I must remind you that I do indeed live at altitudes that are greater than 7000'. It's dry up here. My lips would fall off if not smeared with good old Vaseline several times a day. And as a side note the new designed jar with the flip off lid is soooo much better than the old removable lid.






3. 2004  Land Rover Discovery

Again with the altitude of my home this vehicle is necessary. I only feel safe in the snow while driving this car. Big hills? Snow berms? Black ice? No problem.





4. Books

Doesn't matter the book. I must have books. I can't live without them. They keep my mind from getting away from me. I NEVER go anywhere without a book.


5. IKEA Bookcases

They are so cheap, so versatile and hold so much. I've got them in every color they come in, and even a few of those special ones with patterns in them.







6. Hershey's Chocolate Syrup

Yes I buy it in bulk from Sam's Club just as shown in the picture. We go through one jug every week. How you ask?
CHOCOLATE MILK.
I recently cut down my intake of chocolate milk to once a week, but the kids drink it every day.
We do not even know what white milk tastes like.







7. Highway Bags

I have had one of these purses for the past 4 years. I really cannot imagine a better purse. It is impossible to lose anything in one of these there. There is a place for everything in one of those little zippered pockets. Keys in one. Phone in another, make-up in another. I never have to fumble for anything. I only wish I could have one in every color. They are sold almost exclusively from their little store in New York.
Find them here and buy one.



8. Heated Mattress Pad

What? You've never heard of one of these? If you live anywhere even remotely cold you MUST get one. It is like heaven. Every time you climb in, the sheets and blankets and pillows are warm, toasty warm. Since we live in a castle and our bedroom can get down to 40 degrees we really would freeze without it.



9. Velvet

I know it's not a great image, but there doesn't seem to be a photo that captures how amazing burgundy velvet really is. I have burgundy velvet couches and burgundy velvet covering my giant canopy bed. I keep a bolt of it handy just in case I can think of something else to drape in velvet.







10. My castle

I've fought hard in the last few years to keep this house. I've lived here longer than anywhere else my whole entire life, almost 7 years. Yes, its cold and drafty and far outside of town, but it's our home. It will be the one that my kids remember as their childhood home. My littlest has never known another house. We moved in 2 weeks before she was born. We've been through a lot together this house and me. I don't know if we'll always live here, but for now I can't imagine living anywhere else.

Am I an anarchist?

In case you didn't know I'm a little bit crazy. I'll be the first to admit it. I truly am. Most of the time I'm fine, but sometimes my irrational behavior rears it's ugly head and I have a hard time getting through the day.
Today it has become evident that I am having a hard time getting through these last few weeks of grad school. I am supposed to graduate Dec. 15, but I'm just not interested in finishing. I am required to write some BS essays on what I've learned while in school, but I'm not feeling it. I don't really think I've learned that much. So to summarize my experience I wrote a fabulous essay stating exactly that. Needless to say it was rejected and I've been asked to resubmit.
What kind of message does that send when I cannot say what I really feel, but must BS my way through to the end? I can't bring my self to do it. It's making me very anxious and nervous and I don't know what to do. I almost would like to leave the essay where it stands and see if they will really deny my graduation. But that seems like a waste of my $36,000 I spent on tuition. I'm just so riled up that I can't physically write that essay again.
I'll give it a few days and see if I calm down, but for now I'm ticked. I do not get along with higher education and the world of academia. It's like oil and water. The older I get the more I realize that I am quite possibly an anarchist.

Sunday Hike

This is how I spent my Sunday afternoon... on the mountain.
The kids get so wrapped up in their video games and Minecraft, and silly kitten videos that they forget that we live at the base of this amazing mountain. They whine and complain about leaving the house and having to put on shoes, but always have a great time once we get out there.
There were amazing leaves, tiny squirrels, patches of deep green moss, giant tree roots poking out of the ground, and an enormous maze of fallen trees. It's nature's playground.
Here at 9000' and 55 degrees the air is clean, thin and crisp and the sun feels so warm even while your cheeks are a little cold.
After about a half hour you forget about the laundry and bills that are waiting back at home.
Last year we made an attempt to go hiking every weekend, but have since abandoned it after gymnastics classes and my many school related obligations got in the way. I think we need to try again after the first of the year.
 It really is good for the soul.

Remembering River

When I was a young teenager both of these posters were on my wall. If there was ever a little girl who loved this boy more, I have not met her.

I saw every movie, no matter how bad. Remember A Night in the Life of Jimmy Reardon?

My favorite by far is The Thing Called Love, also starring a very young Sandra Bullock. In it he was a musician. He was tortured by a girl. He married her and it didn't work out. There were ties to Elvis, and Nashville, and oh it just tickles everything in me that makes me love a movie. I could watch it a million times.

I remember waking up November 1, 1993 and hearing the horrible news of his death. I was in my freshman college dorm and I was too stunned to speak. None of my roommates seemed to understand the enormity of the situation and I why I was so devastated.

I also remember 5 years later when I stood on the spot in front of the Viper Room where he died and how it seemed impossible that he was dead. I still think of him all the time. He was the first Hollywood crush I had. He was the first celebrity that I wrote a fan letter to (not counting Alex Karas (may he also rest in peace)). He was the reason why I bought BOP magazine and Tiger Beat.
If he was still alive he would be 42.
I love you and miss you River.

Do I Have to Make Dinner?

I am so totally over making dinner for my family.
Sure I'll do it once a week... spaghetti on Sunday nights, well actually Sunday afternoon. I like to be all settled onto the couch by 5:00 when Rick Steves comes on PBS, so we actually eat around 4:00.
Other than that I am not at all interested in cooking. It is soooo time consuming. First you have to have all the ingredients, pre-heat stuff, cook it, serve it, eat it, and then you have to clean it all up and put it all away. I'm just not into it.
If there was a pill that I could give all my children and myself that was fully nutritional and I only had to unscrew a cap and put the pill into their little hands I would save so much time and energy.

It just makes me anxious when I think of all the vitamins and food groups I should be serving. I start to panic and them I'm overwhelmed and I can't make dinner and wind up serving corn dogs and peeled carrots.
So we eat frozen pizzas, lots of pasta, frozen corn, carrots, bagels, and Sam's Club rotisserie chicken.

Exactly how much does a personal chef cost?

New Look

Pretty fancy huh?
I'm impressed with myself too. I tweaked, adjusted, resized, and re-fonted everything.
Hopefully I can leave it with this icky orange color. I hate orange, but it seems to work here.
I'm really getting back into this and only 5 more weeks of school, and then I can spend even more time here emptying out my brain.

A Bit of Architecture

Here are two interesting architecture items that I've come across this evening.

From Flavorwire, the Empty NYC Subway System

It looks so calm and quiet without a flash-mob mucking it up. While the reasons for the abandoned transit hubs is not so cool, it is amazing to see the buildings empty of people. When I used to design and build it was always cool to see the completed spaces before they filled with people. It is a rare sight for some spaces.


And another, not so cool piece of architecture from the Literary Tourist. Nigel Beale talks about his experience visiting the building. While he doesn't judge, it made me cranky that an architect would do this and that a client would allow him.

The Chicago Poetry Foundation


While the building looks like any other modern glass box, it is also a statement from the architect and a metaphor for a poem. It is frustrating just like a poem.
What the f*&%?
If people can't find their way in, than your architecture has failed.
This is the kind of stuff that gives architects and architecture a bad name.
And why would the Poetry Foundation want to perpetuate the idea that poetry is frustrating and difficult?

Chastising Bad Parents. Would you do it?

Okay, so my children and I were eating dinner out tonight. We go to the same place every week the four of us and we feel like this restaurant is our 2nd home. We love it there. We laugh, we talk, we plan the week, we share our food. It is the definition of a family dinner.

Tonight I saw sitting across from us a very strange sight. There was a mom, a guy who may or may not have been the dad and a 10 year old boy. The mom had a laptop with her and she was playing World of Warcraft. The dad was watching cartoons on his own separate laptop with headphones. The boy was sitting there by himself staring off into space while his parents, sitting right next to him, were oblivious to him. The parents were shoveling food into their large mouths and were so focused on their separate forms of entertainment that the poor child was staring at us longingly.

I was really torn. I so desperately wanted to say something to these people. They were both big, nerdy, pasty people who obviously live connected to their computers. I've seen parents on their phones in a restaurant, but to bring in 2 laptops while you eat... with your child. I was appalled.

After wondering what to do, I decided to go for it. I didn't want to be rude, but I wanted to make my point so I went up to the kid and asked him, "Where's your laptop?" He smiled and his mom looked up and did a little laugh. Then I looked at her at said, "He might enjoy a little conversation if you've got the time." I smiled and walked away. The dad looked up and said, "Mind your own goddam business!"

Yes I deserved that. I would be pissed if anyone told me how to parent my child, too but when it comes to children I don't think we should all mind our own business.  By ignoring their child they were sending him the message that their games and cartoons were more important than he was. Imagine being that kid and looking around the restaurant and seeing all the other people and families laughing and talking and having to sit by those two lumps. How would it make you feel?

Now I'll be the first to tell you that I am the best parent in the world. I am fairly self-righteous when it comes to parenting. I know I'm doing it right as evidenced by my three beautiful, intelligent, well-adjusted children. We all parent differently though and I know different techniques will still yield fabulous children, but this to me was blatant bad parenting. If they do that in public how do they treat the poor boy at home? I felt it my duty to say something. Maybe, just maybe, that mother will think twice about what I said and start talking to her child instead of ignoring him so much that I feel like inviting her child to come sit at MY table during dinner.

Feeling Satisfied

 

So I took a couple of days off to deal with this sinus infection. I have so wanted to get back home and have time to do laundry and keep everyone’s rooms nice and neat and be able to make dinner every night that I had pretty much decided that I would quit my job and stay home after the first of the year. I thought that was what I wanted.

I don’t want to stay home every day, but I want my house to look clean and my kids to be well tended, but does that really mean I have to stay home? I want something to do and someone to do it with and that means leaving the house every day. I guess what I want is a purpose. I want a reason to be here. I am needed at the library and I am needed at home and I can do both, but does that make me happy? Shouldn’t I be doing more with my life? Who is telling me that besides me? Shouldn’t I be happy with what I’ve got? I hate to say it, but my formal education makes me feel guilty for not using it. I feel guilty because I’m not an architect. I feel guilty because I work for $10/hour in a job that technically anyone could do. I do it well, but there are much stupider people than me that could do it and do it well. They would probably be more satisfied with it. Where am I supposed to be and what am I supposed to be doing. I feel miserable some days at work when I am mindlessly covering books with contact paper. I feel miserable at home (not just because I’m sick) when I find myself surfing the internet and watching romantic movies (Broken English starring Parker Posey). That isn’t how I want to spend my days either. What is in between? Anything? Does every woman have this problem? Is it just my head? Should I be doing more to make myself more fulfilled? Do I just need to do less and read more and not feel guilty about it? Aren’t I successful if I am a great mother and a great wife? I am those things in spades so why do I want more and what do I want?

I think we all struggle with this in our lives. I do all the time and I don’t think it’s all related to my anxiety. I think it’s somewhat normal, but that doesn’t make it any easier. If I wasn’t sick I would probably be doing more at home. When you’re sick you’re supposed to sit around and watch TV and feel sad and wish that you felt better. If I was well I would be out in the garage working on my rugs or writing something more productive than this. If I was well I would be volunteering somewhere and going to the gym. I wouldn’t have a headache.

So what do I do? Do I keep working? Do I try and write more and make a living at that? Books are so important to me and I love them more than anything else I’ve ever tried. I try and impart that feeling into the kids that come into the library every day. I know that passion comes through and that is what makes me great at my job. I should take that satisfaction and use it to fuel myself towards something else. In any other library setting I wouldn’t know my patrons like I know my kids. I wouldn’t be free to order all the books and organize everything just my way. I should appreciate that and realize that I am making a difference in these kid’s lives. I make them want to read and that is a huge accomplishment regardless of how much I get paid.

Yes I want to do more, but maybe I just can’t right now. I’ve still got to graduate. I can’t let that degree make me feel guilty for doing a job that I truly love. I’m just frustrated and don’t have any big thing to look forward to. There’s Paris in May, but it still seems so far away and still just a dream until our tickets are in hand. I just need something little… a weekend away, a hike in Sedona, a dinner and movie. Or maybe just some time with me when I’m not sick.

Who knows, but it feels good to get that all out. That’s what happens when I listen to Bon Iver.

Home Sick

That nasty little head cold from last-last weekend has turned into a sinus infection, my mortal enemy.
I've Mucinexed the heck out of the thing and still the pain is intense and the pressure on the left side of my head makes it impossible for me to think and read. I know! How awful is that?
I want all that green-yellow snot out of my head.
I'm trying to catch up on things, but the pain is making it difficult.
The laundry is done. The beds are all made. I've checked up on school discussion boards, but I've got 2 assignments due Wed I should get crack-alacking on ASAP.
I so can't wait to be done with school. 7 more weeks!!! and I will graduate.

I'm getting distracted by photos and rumors about Justin Timberlake's wedding over the weekend. I was never a big NSync fan. I know none of their songs, but I loved JT as a solo artist, a movie star, and most importantly as an SNL Host. He won my heart by giving me his d*ick in a box years ago. That's what makes him awsome, not only is he hot, but he is ridiculously funny and he can dance. That is the real triple threat. So I'm a little bummed that he's married to Jessica Beal. She seems so boring. I don't know the girl obviously but she must be amazing if JT married her.
I'll just squeeze in a little homework while I gaze at JT with his new wedding ring on.

Awesome People Hanging out Together

This is an awesome link to Tumblr of

Awesome People Hanging Out Together.

Some of my favorites are:

Frank Gehry and Brad Pitt

Architect Man Candy

Anthony Kiedis, David Bowie and Johnny Depp

Rock-n-Roll Man Candy

Aretha Franklin and Annie Lennox

Rock-n-Roll Divas

Marlene Dietrich and Amelia Earhart

Ohh the crazy juxtaposition.

Worth the Try

It's another Friday night and here I sit blogging and watching Say Yes to the Dress. Does it get any sadder than this? Probably.
Carl is still not home yet. The kids are playing video games. I'll finish here and then curl up with a book.

Recently I've been thinking about life and kids and routines and the roles that we intuitively take on after getting married an having kids.

To us it is important to provide that stable home life that we both lacked as kids. We know all of our neighbors and all the teachers at our schools. We can let our kids go home with friends and not have to worry about them. In the event of any catastrophe I know my children will be well taken care of by our community we have built. It has taken 9 long years, but that community is there and it is strong.

The thing that makes me question this traditional family structure is our reliance on a large house, several cars, and the commitment to our jobs that ties us down and then keeps us working and away from our children so that we may provide this stable safe environment.

I guess it's the "Is this all there is" syndrome that we all get in middle age. We really don't want to do this our whole lives. We want to do more that live for the weekend and then spend that time shopping for things that the kids need. With a mortgage, credit cards, public school schedules, huge cell phone bills, car insurance, how is one ever able to sever the ties from a "normal" American life?

We are going to try and attempt some changes and I will try and document them here. Who knows if we will be successful, but it sure as hell will be worth the try.

Creepy Photos

Does anybody else have a little girl who does this?
Steals your phone and then takes strange photos of her dolls around the house?

Sketti

Do you watch Honey Boo Boo?
I wouldn't say I watch it, but I have seen the show. It is funny. The execs at TLC have struck reality gold with this family. It's fun to watch because their lives are so different than mine.
No one could write a show this funny and sad: a 16 year old girl gives birth to a baby with 2 thumbs and the family is immediately able to accept her and make cute jokes. I'm totally on-board.

Until I saw the sketti episode.

It made me sick to my stomach.
I love ketchup, maybe even more that a normal adult should.
I love butter. I mean who doesn't.
I love spaghetti. It's a staple in our house. I lived off it when I was in college.

But to put those three things together into one bowl makes me cringe. Really?
I mean how expensive is a jar of Prego?
Who was the first person who thought: lets just put ketchup on our noodles? and then thought: this needs a little something extra... how about a big-ol-slab-o-butter? And then let's microwave it into a squishy orange mess?
Really? I mean really?

Of course I'll keep watching though. I can't get enough and who knows what other fabulously disgusting recipes Mama June will have for us all next week.

Kristin Wiig's Poop and Me

I totally just Googled Kristin Wiig poop.
This is the type of gal I would be if I were a public figure.
While accepting an award this week Kristin Wiig started off her speech with:

"I do want to say something from the heart, something actually kind of serious and truthful, I have not pooped in four days — four days! I've been travelling. I'm nervous. I'm getting concerned. I'm wearing a tight dress."

It made me laugh. We've all been there and she said it out loud. Too awesome.

I once went to a wedding buffet in Vegas wearing a too tight dress, ate too much, and watched as my dress got shorter and shorter as my belly got bigger and bigger. Wow that makes me look bad and I guess that's a little different from Kristin's situation, but I was traveling and wearing a tight dress.

I often wish people would talk more about poop. There is a weird line that goes between good manners and discussing things that happen to us every single day. We talk about poop all the time in our house, but sometimes it's hard to shut that off when we go out. We all fart. We all have issues with our stomachs. My teeny, tiny, 36 pound, 6 year old clogs the toilet every time she shits. It's a running joke in our family. But sometimes when I try to share that information with other people I get strange looks. Even from other mothers. I love stories like that. It makes us all seem more human. 

Share your shit stories with me.

Here's my worst one. I think I may have shared this one here before, but here it is again.

In 2002 shortly after Easter my husband and I went to a Black Rebel Motorcycle Club show at the Mayan Theater in LA. It was loud, it was awesome, and we had food poisoning. 
In retrospect I think it was some leftover ham that did us in.
It hit me first. The music was so loud it was shaking me to my core. My inner core. My intestinal core. I was nauseous. The room was swaying. I felt like total crap as my insides liquified. I notified Carl of my predicament and we headed towards the door. On the way I had to take another run to the bathroom and there were only onesies at the front of the theater. There was of course a line for the ladies room and I asked the girl in front if I could go in front of her because I was sick. I was grey,sweating and doing that dance which indicates that I don't know exactly which end this toxic load is going to come out of. She looked and me and with hate in her eyes proclaimed, "No, because I don't want to go in after you!" If I could have willed myself to explode on her I would have and I still hope she has suffered the consequences of her bad karma. I then proceeded to the available men's room and unloaded from both ends at the same time wrecking the entire room and most of my clothing which had to be disposed of in that poor, poor, bathroom.

In another Kristin Wiig reference, it was just like that scene in Bridesmaids.

We made it to the car with my jacket around my waist (thank fully the theater was very dark) as I continued to heave. 
That was the longest drive from LA to Fullerton anyone has ever endured. Not only did I continue to barf, but the sickness then hit Carl. He didn't miss a beat while driving down the 5 Freeway and barfing into a scavenged Ralph's bag. (Get it? Ralph's: it's a store in Ca, and a handy name for a bag to puke in). The cloud of funk that must have emanated from that car when we got out could have infected the entire city. That night Carl and I took turns hugging the toilet and we have never eaten leftover Easter ham since.

See. Don't I seem more human now? 

Urbex

What is Urbex?

It is short for urban exploration and it is amazing.
I've been subscribed to a new Facebook page called Spooky Places that posts pictures of all kinds of abandoned buildings and other creepy things. Today there was a photo of a place called Chateau Miranda aka Chateau Noisy in Belgium and it took my breath away. I've been researching the place ever since I saw it this morning. In my interweb ramblings I came across a number of really cool websites that feature urbex and the people who break in and trespass into abandoned structures and take beautiful pictures.

These images break my heart and make me want to go out and win millions of dollars in the lottery and try and save this poor abandoned building.
This YouTube video of the exterior of the chateau is the equivalent of a Sarah Mclachlan Humane Society animal cruelty commercial to me.  The Beethoven makes me want to cry.

We've done our own version of this here in our own backyard that I'll call DesEx, or desert exploration. There are all kinds of abandoned Route 66 oddities near us that we try and go out and explore every so often. We've seen the Twin Arrows with the abandoned zoo, an abandoned bridge, and numerous abandoned roadside motels. I'll have to find the photos and post up my own Urbex art.

Citi Bank Mortgage Charged Off

I remembered a few weeks ago that I never posted a final summation of our whole mortgage situation.
Our first giant mortgage was refinanced and our 7.5% interest rate was changed to 2% and is adjusting up to a set 5% for the remainder of the term.

The big news that we didn't get until early in 2012 was that our 2nd mortgage with a remaining balance of around $72,000 was officially charged off. Yes $72,000 of debt was just wiped away.

Now the weird thing was that we had no idea until I went and checked our credit reports in January (like I always do). I was worried about what our credit scores would be and I always check once yearly so that I'm on top of everything. When I got to the Citi line item it stated a zero balance and a note of a charge-off.

We never received any paperwork from Citi. NOT A SINGLE PIECE OF CORRESPONDENCE.
That debt would have been hanging on my conscience in perpetuity unless I had checked the credit reports. Why? Why would they not contact a customer and let them know that? "Yes we know you have no way of paying your 2nd mortgage, so to be nice guys, we will eat that debt." Wouldn't that be good PR? Isn't it my right as a customer to get some sort of letter or notice that I no longer owed $72,000? I thought that was bizarre.

Now obviously I am not at all ashamed that I had a huge debt charged off. Not in the least. If any one asks I will tell them all the details. I'm not a victim. I worked my ass off, as documented here, to get that debt charged off. I am not ashamed of the fact that our family income decreased dramatically since 2008. Times were good in 2006 when we took on that debt. Times changed and our mortgage had to change too. Our house price was grossly inflated when we bought it in 2006, but we didn't know it at the time.

Have we learned a lesson since then? Yes definitely. We are much more careful with our money. The most important lesson that I learned though is that a bank cannot push you around unless you let them. You can stand up for your family, your economic situation, and your home. Regardless of the amount of debt, you still own your home. The bank is a corporation and sometimes a bully, but you can work with them and hopefully find a new solution.

On another interesting note our credit scores have not seemed to suffer at all. Banks and credit card companies use the threat of a bad credit score to scare us into making all payments in a timely fashion. They try and strong arm their customers with that constant threat, but realize that it is just a threat. If I can have $72,000 charged off and not see so much as a ripple in my credit score, it is ONLY a threat. I've bought cars since then and still gotten a 0% interest rate.

I am not afraid to challenge any bank, credit card or utility company.

AZ Snowbowl Scenic Skyride

This is a photo from Saturday October 13th of the Snowbowl Scenic Skyride.
Yes it snowed here last weekend. On October 12th. We had a first snow.
RIDICULOUS. I know.
Carl and I had never been up on our own mountain and decided it was time we got away for a few hours away from the kids and took the ride to the top.
It was awesome. It was quiet. It was peaceful. It was cold.
The colors on the Aspen's were beautiful and at their peak for the season.
We were both a little surprised when we got to the top and had to get off. We are used to this altitude since we live at around 7500, but the top of the ski-lift is at 11,500. The guy in front of us had a little case of altitude sickness and spend his first 15 minutes at the top of the mountain in the single bathroom.
The view was amazing, as you can see in my new banner photo under the blog title. My house is in that little valley at the base of the mountain. I usually have the view up, but it is cool to see the opposite view to below.
Running around up at the top after a 30 minute ride I was giddy. The lack of oxygen, the excitement, the need to pee were all ramping me up. We took so many pictures. The sun was warm, the air was crisp, and the wind was only at around 5mph, so it was perfect conditions for our first visit.
Next time I think we'll bring some hot coco and hats.
Overall it was fun and totally worth the $15 per person.

Look New Widgits!

In only took 20 minutes, but I have new widgets. Please share on Facebook if I say something particularly witty or particularly horrible.
Oh and I now have a fever of 101. This is more than a headcold.

Middle of Everything

So I've got a head cold. A drippy, stuffy, sleepy one that is dragging me down.
I've got company taxes to work on,  a group project for school, various other assignments, a huge business expansion to work on, parent teacher conferences, etc, etc, etc. The list goes on and on and those are just the big ones. I've got my balls to the wall.

I need to finish the Casual Vacancy, but it is so tedious and my attention is elsewhere.

I've got awesome photos from last weekend that I need to upload of our trip up the ski-lift, but I can't get off the couch to get my phone.
All in due time.
I'm just trying to breathe.

Being a Woman is Hard

Do I do too much?

I just met a mom this afternoon that has been giving my oldest son a ride home from school occasionally.
I had never met her and I was letting her transport my precious cargo.
Yes, our sons go to the same fancy Charter School. Yes, she lives in my neighborhood. Yes, my son is friends with her son.
I was assuming because of those factors that she would be perfectly safe to transport my child.
And I was right. I was a feeling a little guilty before I met her, but now I am at ease.
Not only is she a neighbor, but our 6 year-olds are in the same class, we run the same ridiculous circuit every morning to the far side of town and then back to our side of town to drop our children off at two different locations, a 20 mile loop.
It's ridiculous that I have never met her.

I do too much. She is a stay at home mom. I like to think that I am, but I'm not.
I work 35 hours a week. I do all the book keeping for two family businesses. I am a graduate student. I am a mother and I am a wife. It's too much.
It's the reverse of how most people think it would be. I feel guilty for working and she feels guilty for staying home. She was trying to explain why she doesn't work. As if she always has to provide an excuse for her 'laziness'. I tried to make her feel better by saying that I would soon stop 'working' so that I too could stay at home.
I feel like I am slacking on my mothering. I should have met this woman a long time ago. I should have gone to parent teacher conferences. I should have chaperoned the Grand Canyon field trip (people fall to their deaths there every week). I should have volunteered for Carnival night.
But no I've got homework, a paper to write, quarterly taxes, payroll to run, oh yeah and I have to make dinner every night and 10 loads of laundry every week.

Why do I do it all? Do I have too? Can I just do 1 thing besides being a mother instead of 4 things?
Should I focus on the family businesses? Should I focus on the family? Should I focus on being a librarian? Should I focus on my rugs? My writing? My blogs?

What is the answer?

Coming Soon...

So I've figured out that what I really want to do here on this blog is entertain. I'm not providing new and fabulous content, I'm simple letting you into the little things that are my life. That's what I like to read in a blog. I like to see how other people live. It's like reality TV for your computer if you are a little bit more literary that most... which I am and I would hope that those of you who read this are as well.
You can join me here or here if you want the book reviews and librarian speak that can get a little tedious here.
Today I have finally come to the conclusion that my days as an elementary school librarian are coming to a close. I will graduate in December with my Masters Degree in Library Science and it will be time for me to move on. I want to use my talents for more lofty tasks that getting 5 year olds to walk quiety through a hallway and showing 10 year olds how to print.
In the next few months I will be exploring my options while finishing up school.
All of my options will fall under self-employment.
I want to try and do it all on my own (that's my M-O). I don't want to have to work in an office or with a set schedule. I will free-lance, work on my rugs, consult, and write.
Also coming up will be some travel info as I plan some massive trips for the summer this year. Carl and I will be heading to Europe for our 14th anniversary and the whole family will be going on a long road trip from AZ to Michigan and returning through Nebraska for a family reunion in August.
Brace yourself fool!

Weighted Hula Hoop

I know it seems like I'm doing a lot of product related posts, but I really am excited about these things, and I feel it is my moral duty to let you, my 4 loyal followers, know all about them.

This is my new favorite thing. I think it was the end of August that I got my 5lb weighted hula hoop.
I now have a waist.
This is major news.
If you're like me and you've been pregnant a few times and maybe even had a few kids you have waist issues.
At the end of the summer I was tired of my treadmill and working on my areas that are already awesome (my legs and ass), so I decided to work on my abs instead. My non-existent abs.
Since then I've been doing a rotation of 30-50 sit-ups on my fitness ball, 20 side-ups per side on my Roman chair, and then a few minutes with my hula hoop (I'm up to 8 min).
And HOT DAMN. I have abs now.

I don't think you understand. I have NEVER had abs before. Nothing, not even a dimple or a shadow. It's amazing.

Now just to be clear I will not be flaunting my abs about like a 16 year old. I am 37. I have numerous stretch marks, and we won't even mention what my skin looks like below my belly button, but above the button I'm good.

I would highly recommend this for anyone who wants to work on their waist issues even without doing sit-ups.

Just a warning though.... start slow. Try 2 minutes at first. You will have bruises. Yes bruises at first. Keep with it. Go up a minute a week and soon you will be a hoola-hooping fool with a waist.

New Apple Earbuds

I just want to clarify that those are not my fingers.

That said, I love my new earbuds. I am very sensitive about my earbuds. I don't like those squishy ones that create a vacuum in my ear. Other earbuds that are not Apple hurt my ears. The buds are so big. The old Apple earbuds were good, but still fell out of my ears when I chewed or sang along with songs. They just worked their way out of my ears constantly.

These new ones are heaven. So cute, so comfortable, so Apple. Why did it take so long for the geniuses at Apple to redesign the shape? It seems like a no-brainer. I can't say enough good things about them.

I ordered mine as a stand alone without upgrading any of my Apple appliances. Even for $29 and the $7 shipping they are totally worth it.

Buy some. I mean it.
Anybody want a peanut?

Fed Ex Ground Contractor

For those of you who may not be aware, the majority of our household income comes from being an independent contractor with Fed Ex Ground. I'm thinking of starting a new blog/business to support other contractors. We've been in business 8 years and we have considerable experience in shipping and working with Federal Express. So I'm posting this item just to see how many hits I can get off of the topic.
If you are a new contractor or considering purchasing a Ground route and would desperately like more info than what Fed Ex is giving you, or just want to ask a few questions and find out what it's really like to own a route, send me an email and I'll dish for you.

Road Trip Monument Valley

Is it even possible to take a bad photo of Monument Valley? 

It's even prettier than the Grand Canyon in my opinion.

Rooms full of old ladies make me uncomfortable

So I was at a meeting Friday afternoon between all of the librarians in our school district. Needless to say it was a complete waste of time, like most meetings are.

What it made me realize most is that I am really way, way, way, too educated for my job. In a room full of people who need instruction on how to use a help menu, change a barcode, and need tutoring in order to pass basic high school math I found myself constantly holding back eye-rolls and laughing cackles. I'm not an administrator and could never be for a school district because I cannot listen to a room full of over-weight middle aged women complain about doing things "outside of my pay-grade".

It was literally driving me crazy. A room full of women makes me nervous to begin with, but this was pushing me over the edge. My time is limited in this $10.00/hour position.

So here I introduce a new direction in the Life at 7000 Feet blog. It's been a bit stagnant for a while here since I've been in school. I graduate in December with my Master's Degree in Library and Information Science. I've been working for the school district as long as I've been in school and it's time to switch things up a bit and venture down a new path.

I don't know what that path will be, but I've got my eyes peeled for it. It's coming up here soon and I'll be ready for it when it comes into my sights.

There will be a lot of travel in my future and I need a career that will not interfere with that.

Just for a little photo interlude..... here's a lovely shot of my kids from our fabulous road trip to Nebraska this summer.

New Jeans

You know that no matter how many pairs of jeans that you try on in a dressing room at the store that there is no real way to see if a pair of jeans fits unless you wear them all day. The same thing goes for a good bra. One 30 second to 2 minute span of time of trying on is not sufficient to get a real gauge of whether those jeans are going to fit your body.
You really have to go hop in and out of your car a few times, pick up a boat load of toys from the floor, sit at a computer for 45 minutes, eat a regular sized meal, or maybe even try them on while PMSing to really know if they fit.
That is why I have maybe 5 pairs in my closet that fit fine at the store and then were never worn again because the inseam is too small, the snap hits me right where my leftover baby pouch is, or the jeans come up just a hair too high past my 'beware the muffin top' zone, but that was not evident that one day in the store when I went shopping at 9am before I ate anything.
I've been buying a lot of Old Navy jeans since I have a hard time justifying anything over $30 if I might not ever wear them again once they get home, but maybe that's the problem... the cheap jeans. But really aren't jeans just jeans?
This weekend (while extremely bloated) I am going to attempt to find a pair of Levi's. Old school Levi's. I might even go over to the men's department and get a pair of 501's. It's been a while since I've worn Levi's, but last time I tried them on I was not impressed by all the womanly "improvements" that were added to their women's jeans. I don't want a tummy panel, a weird waistband, or stretch in just the right places for my thighs. I want regular old jeans like I remember wearing when I was younger. Nothing fancy, but a perfect fit.
Wish me luck.

Happiness vs. Money

So here's the deal..... we could use a little extra money. I don't make very much money as a part time elementary school librarian.

I have seen two jobs in the last week that are advertising jobs in the $50-80k range for an architect that I fully qualify for.

Should I keep the low paying job that I love that lets me spend time with books, kids, and my own kids? I can spend days reading picture books, come home and spend 30 minutes on the treadmill, finish my MLIS, make dinner, finish 8 loads of laundry in two days time, read and write to my hearts content, have all the same days off and holidays as my children, and generally be a happy fulfilled poor person.

Or do I apply for an architecture job with the City of Flagstaff or NAU? The hours would be long, the summer vacations gone, the dropping off and picking up of my children from school non-existent but I would have full health benefits, vacation and sick pay, an opportunity to pay off my credit cards and student loans, the ability to give my husband a break from being the major breadwinner for the family, and a retirement package.

It's a difficult decision. Sure I can apply for the jobs and see what happens. If I am passed over it is a sure indication that I should stay where I am. But what if? What if I get one of those jobs and hate it and wish I could go back to the days of picture books, tying shoes, and recommending chapter books to fresh faced 10 year olds? Then what? And what about my Master's Degree in Library Science?

It could be years before I have a $60,000/year library job. What to do?

Why do we always have to seem to choose between money and happiness?

2012 Status Update

Okay, so I've gotta little time on my hands this week so I figure I could maybe start writing again. Things are under control. I'm only taking one class this semester and I've managed to finagle working only 3 days a week at the library. I know.... pretty cool huh?
The bills are paid, the taxes are submitted, the kids are at school, and I'm home alone. Which is rare nowadays.
So to take advantage of this new found time to myself I'll try and update this thing more often.
I love writing and I miss it. I feel guilty when I don't write, so I will do my best to write more.

So to re-introduce myself to you my 5 loyal readers here is a list of 10 things you may not know about me:

1.Reading is an absolute addiction to me. I cannot be sitting without a book in my hand.

2. It's been almost 2 years since I've been on meds for my OCD and I am a new gal because of it.

3. I have no medical insurance currently. (See above mention of me only working 3 days a week...not enough hours to qualify)

4. I can never say no to a chocolate chip cookie.

5. We have regular Saturday night dance parties at my house.

6. My children are allowed to listen to ANY type of music regardless of the lyrical content.

7. I am allergic to dogs and we currently have 6 cats in the house.

8. I am addicted to Clorox wipes. I'll wipe anything with them as long as it's dirty.

9. My boobs have miraculously grown larger as I've gotten older. Just bought a bra that is a 34G. Yes, I did say G!!!

10. I'm listening to Portishead right this very minute.

I know not to much new and interesting. My meds keep me fairly mellow nowadays. I'm trying to bring the crazy back within legal limits.