Positively Miserable

I just can't be positive all the time. Today is a real downer. It's not just today, but today I'm feeling it more than ever.
Life is supposed to be about constant change and a surprise around every corner. I could sure use one today.

All I see before me is a monotonous spread of days just like the one before. Frosted Flakes, treadmill, business books, yell at the kids, take kids to something to try and entertain them, salami sandwiches, work on my rugs, afternoon snack, read a book, try and find something to make for dinner, dinner, baths, solitaire on the couch while watching Chelsea Lately, Carl gets home, put kids to bed, watch Carl eat dinner, put Carl to bed, read until after House Hunters.

This can't be all there is. Should I feel the security of the sameness of it all?

I feel tired of being a mom 24 hours a day for the past 9 years. I feel tired of never seeing my husband. I feel tired of not having any money. I feel tired of feeling tired.

I just get the feeling that this everyday nothingness is not what I was put here to do with my life.

When will things get better? When will there be surprises and family vacations that are more than a 6 hour car ride away? When will I enjoy life again? Life was not meant to be a day by day struggle just to stay sane.

ARGGGHHHHH!

It's probably just my hormones, but I'm allowed a day or two a month to wallow in my less than stellar life.

It's nothing that a $25,000,000 check couldn't fix instantly.

I'm gonna step out on a limb and say that at this point in my life, money could indeed buy me happiness. It wouldn't fix all my problems, but it would definitely make the most bothersome ones go away.