Writing Motherhood

There is a new columnist in our local paper who is writing the weekly parenting article. You know the one where she tells all the crazy cute little things that her kids do that drive her crazy. It is so belittling to women.
The last chick that wrote it wasn't half bad. I would read her stuff and usually relate. She had that same snide commentary about life with kids that I seem to have. She had the same problems with living in this town that I did, trying to deal with the traffic and the beaurocracy and the tourists.
But this new one....she is a little lack lustre. Of course I don't know her personally so I will judge her relentlessly. We don't want to hear a story about how your kid pooped in the back yard and you didn't yell at him. That's not real parenting. We don't want to hear how you are so much better that the rest of us, we want to hear how you're just like us. You yell and you feed them peanut butter crackers for dinner, you make them wear dirty socks to school often becuase you hate to do laundry and you hate even more trying to pair the various sizes and colors of socks for 5 different people in your household. That's what we want to hear. She seems like the perfect little minivan driving, ballet and soccer mom. She reads recipe books and she is a SAHM (the acronym that makes stay at home moms feel special). She reads parenting magazines AND books. She attends every field trip and she hates the idea of preschool since she just cannot stand to be seperated from her precious children for even 3 hours a day. She's the woman who is utterly stunned when her husband dies and leaves no insurance and she has no marketable job skills and has to send a video into Extreme Home Makeover to try and save her family from herself. Ughhh
We all have our dirty little secrets about motherhood and we want to hear those from other mothers who are trying desperatly to keep everything together and have given up the struggle to put on a happy face everyday to look like we are perfect mothers. There is no such thing. We are just being women who just so happen to have kids. It doesn't define us and our world doesn't reolve around them. We are trying to make a difference in this world and we are doing it ourselves right now. We are not cultivating our children to do the work for us when they are older. Our children are not ours for the molding or for the taking. They have their own distinct set of hopes and desires.
I would love to hear from a mother who can do more than just be a mother. Of course I would be perfect. I am a 32 year old mother of 3 who runs 3 businesses. I am an architect and I run my own architectural firm. I have so much to say and no where to say it. There are so many more interesting thing to be said about being a mother than telling the cute cocktail party stories. Maybe I'll start to post them here along with my architectural rantings. It will be an interesting pairing.

Oh and I just bought myself my own little digital camera so that I don't have to lug around the Canon Rebel to get photos on my blog. So soon eveything will be illustrated.

Vanity Fair

I just bought an issue of this magazine and wow. I was just going to thumb thru and then I had to read every single article. It's been a while since I looked at this magazine and I was really amazed. It is so much more than a fashion magazine. It has all the same adds as Vogue, but much more substance and interesting articles about fascinating people. It's part trashy and part news and all entertainment. It makes me feel more sophisticated just for having read it. That's powerful. It inspires me to try and design something truly beautiful that could aspire to be featured in those pages. Architectural Record doesn't do that for me, occasionally Arch Digest will, but usually it's Elle Decor or Domino. I want to create something, but what. Something is in me and it is buring to get out, it just hasn't identified itself to me yet. Apparently I need to put the correct materials in my hands to make the genius flow out.
I'm trying desperatley to be writer now as well as an architect and a designer. But apparently it's a long hard road and I've never got time for the long haul. I'm writing, but it doesn't really count since no one is reading it. You can't really be a writer unless you've swallowed your fear and actually given words committed to paper to a real living person that you know. I don't think the internet counts. It's too anonymous. I don't even have my real name on this blog. That's how fearful I am of committing to my writing. But at least this gets me to practice. My typing skills are getting better, but I can't say the same for my vocabulary. I've spent too much time with my kids watching SpongeBob, reading cheesy chick lit books and parenting magazines to have an impressive vocablary. Mybe I should work on that.

Life at 8000 ft

It was just called to my attention yesterday that our house is actually located at a whopping 8000 ft. I knew it was high, but that is freaking high. Flagstaff in general is at around 7000, so I guess my office where I actually write this is at 7000.
Anyway I'm trying to get into this writing thing. I've found that I write much better when I am writing for myself and no one else. I've read that in all the books I have on writing, but it never really sinks in until I try and read the crap I'm editing in my head that is destined for others to read. It always turns out too nice, too few %^&$*# in it, and doesn't really seem like me. I am who I am and I don't think I'm intended for all audiences. I have always told it like it is and not held anything back. I know that's why I don't have any really good friends except for the ones who can take and also give it right back to me. I would love to write for women and tell them all the things that they are doing wrong in ruling the world, but they are all so sensitive. Not that I'm not too, it's just the reason why we don't rule the world.

Monkey Where You Been?

Sorry, that's just the song that's currently playing on my ipod and it seemed like agood way to start. I love this song for some reason that I don't understand.
I'm sending out cold letters today to 5 contractors in town to try and get them to refer clients to me. Still no one seems to know that I'm here. Probably because there is no sign out front alerting the world. I've been here for 4 months and still no signage. It's getting old. That's part of what I"m paying for in my $1200/month rent. That's my only advertising. I didn't even make the phonebook this year for some reason. Architects aren't really supposed to advertise. It's mostly word of mouth and there are no words coming out of people's mouths to direct them here currently. So much talent and so few places to show it off.

Mondays, Children and School

Ohhhhh, it is such a Monday. I'm in my office worried about my just turned 4 today 4 year old. I dropped him off at his new big boy preschool this morning. He knows the place, his brother went there, he was mildly excited about going, but still I worry. He's a class 5 clinger. He wouldn't let go of my leg this morning and I had to pry his arms off of me to leave. He didn't cry, but he was the only kid having issues with his parent leaving. It really breaks my heart. I know he's fine after I leave, but I just wish he didn't have to put on such an elaborate show for me.
I am now officially dropping off all 3 kids at 3 separate locations in the morning which takes an hour from leaving the house to me actually getting to sit down at my desk. Then of course I start the whole thing again this afternoon when I must leave my desk at exactly 2:50 Pm to go thru the whole process again. It's no wonder I work for myself. I could never do this working for someone else 5 hours and 50 min each day, and then leaving early on Wednesday when my 2nd grader gets out at 1:15. That is such a short work week. It's a wonder I never get anything done.

Land Rover Architect

I just thought I would try out attaching a photo. This is a picture of my awesome car. Check out the custom Chip Foose star rims. Very appropriate considering the name of my business and the vanity plates that match the rims. I've noticed how most architects drive European cars (I know Land Rover is owned by Ford or some other American company). We are really just that cool. I can't think of one architect I know that drives a Ford or a Dodge. It just doesn't happen. We happen to own this fabulous RockStar Land Rover and also an Audi, the most architect or architect cars. I highly recommend them. They match perfectly with all artsy squared off architect glasses (yes I wear them too). Maybe tomorrow I'll see if I can upload a picture of the A6.

Things are starting to get a little desperate around here. It's been 2 months since I've been paid on any project. That seems to be my biggest problem in being an architect. People just don't seem like paying. I think they think that architects have a lot of money and can wait to be paid, so it doesn't matter if they are a couple of months behind. It is the most frustrating thing to have done work and have accounts receivable and not be able to collect. Also architecture is not necessarily steady work. Some months I'm crazy busy and others I just sit in my $1200/month office and try and think of ways to bring in new clients. I'm at my wits end. I wish I could work like a retail business and have the clients pay when they walk out of the office with the plans. I think that's why I'm looking at trying to sell my plans in one of those weird plan books. I hate those plans. They are so ............ick. I want to do something better, but something that will still appeal to the mainstream and then sell them for like $2000 a pop. And then I want to sell at least 1 set every week and make an extra $8000 a month. But with real estate being so questionable lately I'm not sure if that is going to be my real money maker. Basically I'm an architect trying to make bank in a world where people are slowly running out of money.
UGH.