Xanax Please

I'm having a crazy day. I even had to take a little tiny pill in order to calm down. It's nice to have those little pills, but today I think I needed a big pill.

I started the day with my usual bowl of rice krispies, but then things went downhill from there. Maybe it was the donut and chips and salsa at 8:30, the hours of furniture moving and heavy lifting in order to set up the Scholastic Book Fair, the 2 chocolate chip cookies, the left over Halloween candy, who knows, but by the time I got into my car and into traffic I was a sore malnourished cranky crazy woman.
Now nothing horrible happened, just my usual traffic altercation with stupid driver. But it made me feel very out of control and full of rabid anxiety.

After eating a somewhat nutritious meal and thinking about my irrational actions I have come to the conclusion that I need to start getting on my treadmill again. Sure, I've been exercising, but not like I used to. Sit ups and push ups and yoga are not the same as 30 minutes everyday on the treadmill at 4.4 mph.

I've been slipping since summer. It's easy to do what with working on the kid's homework, dinner, household chores, household finances, and whatnot. My first priority when I get home from a day at school is not to get on my treadmill, but it should be

Apparently I forgot that working out, like with sweat and stuff, is an important part of my mental health. I really do go crazy if not exposed to a certain amount of exercise related endorphins. Why did it take me till today to notice that?

Sure it will be a few weeks until I'm able to get back on track, like not until I GRADUATE in 3 weeks. I'm cramming shit in left and right until then. A few papers, a couple of final essays, and a frustrating group project and I am home free. I am hoping my stress level goes down by about half as soon as I turn in that last paper.

Until then I really think some Xanax would be helpful. Why does every celebrity on TV seem to have a  prescription for Xanax, but me, who has panic attacks and a documented case of OCD, can't get my  doctor to prescribe it for me? ARGGH!