Venice Please Be Okay

This just breaks my heart.
It's a city I've never been to, but read extensively about and ofter imagined visiting.
It just has to last long enough so I can visit.

Logging out for a bit

I got on my treadmill this morning and it felt sooooo gooooood.

I was sweaty and warmed up and my endorphins were juicing. I forgot what that felt like. It's way more intense than my yoga and hula hooping.

Once things calm down a little bit I will be back on that puppy every other day.

Mostly I wanted to post today to say that I am going to take a break for a few weeks while I finish up school. I've got too much going on and I can't keep obsessively checking my Blogger stats to see how many page views I have. I have to drop a few things off of my plate for a while.

School is kicking my butt and the holidays are coming up and I seem to be slacking more than usual. I've got to pick up some loose ends and tie them back together.

Until then keep yourselves amused with these two awesome web sites that I found.

http://www.zooborns.com

The Newest, Cutest Animals from the World's Zoo's and Aquariums.

It's now on my list of sites that I check daily. It's just amazing to see all the zoos around the world cooperating to bring this site together. I literally sat in front of this site for an hour when I first saw it.

http://www.floatingsheep.org

Mapping Information. Like how about taking all the racist tweets from after the election and mapping them to location? Guess which states are the most racist. How about a map showing the price of weed across the country? Fascinating stuff. I can't wait to see what these guys map next.

Have a great month. See you December 7th at the latest.

Xanax Please

I'm having a crazy day. I even had to take a little tiny pill in order to calm down. It's nice to have those little pills, but today I think I needed a big pill.

I started the day with my usual bowl of rice krispies, but then things went downhill from there. Maybe it was the donut and chips and salsa at 8:30, the hours of furniture moving and heavy lifting in order to set up the Scholastic Book Fair, the 2 chocolate chip cookies, the left over Halloween candy, who knows, but by the time I got into my car and into traffic I was a sore malnourished cranky crazy woman.
Now nothing horrible happened, just my usual traffic altercation with stupid driver. But it made me feel very out of control and full of rabid anxiety.

After eating a somewhat nutritious meal and thinking about my irrational actions I have come to the conclusion that I need to start getting on my treadmill again. Sure, I've been exercising, but not like I used to. Sit ups and push ups and yoga are not the same as 30 minutes everyday on the treadmill at 4.4 mph.

I've been slipping since summer. It's easy to do what with working on the kid's homework, dinner, household chores, household finances, and whatnot. My first priority when I get home from a day at school is not to get on my treadmill, but it should be

Apparently I forgot that working out, like with sweat and stuff, is an important part of my mental health. I really do go crazy if not exposed to a certain amount of exercise related endorphins. Why did it take me till today to notice that?

Sure it will be a few weeks until I'm able to get back on track, like not until I GRADUATE in 3 weeks. I'm cramming shit in left and right until then. A few papers, a couple of final essays, and a frustrating group project and I am home free. I am hoping my stress level goes down by about half as soon as I turn in that last paper.

Until then I really think some Xanax would be helpful. Why does every celebrity on TV seem to have a  prescription for Xanax, but me, who has panic attacks and a documented case of OCD, can't get my  doctor to prescribe it for me? ARGGH!

Sorry Rick Steves

I completely forgot about Rick when I made my list of things I can't live without.

I am so sorry Rick.

Every night I fall asleep to Rick and his soothing voice as he travels around Europe.  Since I am such an anxious person I need Rick to calm down at night. The beautiful places he visits and the way he describes the history and the inns-and-outs of European travel just relax me enough to shut off my mind and fall asleep.

I saw him a couple of years ago at the LA Travel and Adventure show. I was too awestruck to go up and say hi. I also didn't want to offend him by telling him that he makes me go to sleep. He just feels like a part of my daily life. I mean technically I fall asleep with him every night.
Next time I won't be so shy. I really want to get a photo of the two of us together since he feels like a part of the family.
Some day I will save up enough to go on one of his travel tours.

If you've never heard of Rick, check out his website Rick Steves Europe and check your local PBS listings.

Pay Me to Read, Please!

Can I just please find a job that will pay me to read?

Are you a busy editor? Do you need a reader for you precious manuscript?

I know those jobs are out there, but where? I'm not moving to NYC anytime soon, but can't people just send me books in the mail?

I want the UPS man (and of course the FedEx man too) to being me big packages filled with books everyday.

I want to be required to sit on my couch in front of a cozy fire in a big fluffy fleece blanket with a mug of hot cocoa and read. Sorry kids I'm working/reading. You'll have to make your own dinner.

I want reading deadlines. I want to have to stuff in two books a day. Heck, maybe even three. I'm a fast reader. I already read while I'm cooking, while I'm watching TV, during my lunch break at work, and even during family gatherings. I'll be the one enjoying everyone's company while quietly reading in the corner.

I think I even once bought a book on how to make money reading, but it was full of crap. I'm not a hustler so I have a hard time advertising my services. I'm just hoping if I write enough book reviews on my other blog somebody somewhere will send me a book and $20 with a note saying, "Can you please read this and let me know what you think?"

I would jump up and down and praise the Lord and quit my $10/hour job.

10 Things I Can't Live Without

This is the headline of one of my favorite features in Elle Magazine, or is it Elle Decor? I can't remember. Anyway, I often imagine myself as a famous designer and tastemaker who is featured in the magazine and asked to provide my list of 10 things that I just can't live without.

So today I made my list.

1. Altoids

I eat these puppies each and every day. They are great for a mid-afternoon snack, or a quick breath check after eating too much pork.






2. Vaseline

I must remind you that I do indeed live at altitudes that are greater than 7000'. It's dry up here. My lips would fall off if not smeared with good old Vaseline several times a day. And as a side note the new designed jar with the flip off lid is soooo much better than the old removable lid.






3. 2004  Land Rover Discovery

Again with the altitude of my home this vehicle is necessary. I only feel safe in the snow while driving this car. Big hills? Snow berms? Black ice? No problem.





4. Books

Doesn't matter the book. I must have books. I can't live without them. They keep my mind from getting away from me. I NEVER go anywhere without a book.


5. IKEA Bookcases

They are so cheap, so versatile and hold so much. I've got them in every color they come in, and even a few of those special ones with patterns in them.







6. Hershey's Chocolate Syrup

Yes I buy it in bulk from Sam's Club just as shown in the picture. We go through one jug every week. How you ask?
CHOCOLATE MILK.
I recently cut down my intake of chocolate milk to once a week, but the kids drink it every day.
We do not even know what white milk tastes like.







7. Highway Bags

I have had one of these purses for the past 4 years. I really cannot imagine a better purse. It is impossible to lose anything in one of these there. There is a place for everything in one of those little zippered pockets. Keys in one. Phone in another, make-up in another. I never have to fumble for anything. I only wish I could have one in every color. They are sold almost exclusively from their little store in New York.
Find them here and buy one.



8. Heated Mattress Pad

What? You've never heard of one of these? If you live anywhere even remotely cold you MUST get one. It is like heaven. Every time you climb in, the sheets and blankets and pillows are warm, toasty warm. Since we live in a castle and our bedroom can get down to 40 degrees we really would freeze without it.



9. Velvet

I know it's not a great image, but there doesn't seem to be a photo that captures how amazing burgundy velvet really is. I have burgundy velvet couches and burgundy velvet covering my giant canopy bed. I keep a bolt of it handy just in case I can think of something else to drape in velvet.







10. My castle

I've fought hard in the last few years to keep this house. I've lived here longer than anywhere else my whole entire life, almost 7 years. Yes, its cold and drafty and far outside of town, but it's our home. It will be the one that my kids remember as their childhood home. My littlest has never known another house. We moved in 2 weeks before she was born. We've been through a lot together this house and me. I don't know if we'll always live here, but for now I can't imagine living anywhere else.

Am I an anarchist?

In case you didn't know I'm a little bit crazy. I'll be the first to admit it. I truly am. Most of the time I'm fine, but sometimes my irrational behavior rears it's ugly head and I have a hard time getting through the day.
Today it has become evident that I am having a hard time getting through these last few weeks of grad school. I am supposed to graduate Dec. 15, but I'm just not interested in finishing. I am required to write some BS essays on what I've learned while in school, but I'm not feeling it. I don't really think I've learned that much. So to summarize my experience I wrote a fabulous essay stating exactly that. Needless to say it was rejected and I've been asked to resubmit.
What kind of message does that send when I cannot say what I really feel, but must BS my way through to the end? I can't bring my self to do it. It's making me very anxious and nervous and I don't know what to do. I almost would like to leave the essay where it stands and see if they will really deny my graduation. But that seems like a waste of my $36,000 I spent on tuition. I'm just so riled up that I can't physically write that essay again.
I'll give it a few days and see if I calm down, but for now I'm ticked. I do not get along with higher education and the world of academia. It's like oil and water. The older I get the more I realize that I am quite possibly an anarchist.

Sunday Hike

This is how I spent my Sunday afternoon... on the mountain.
The kids get so wrapped up in their video games and Minecraft, and silly kitten videos that they forget that we live at the base of this amazing mountain. They whine and complain about leaving the house and having to put on shoes, but always have a great time once we get out there.
There were amazing leaves, tiny squirrels, patches of deep green moss, giant tree roots poking out of the ground, and an enormous maze of fallen trees. It's nature's playground.
Here at 9000' and 55 degrees the air is clean, thin and crisp and the sun feels so warm even while your cheeks are a little cold.
After about a half hour you forget about the laundry and bills that are waiting back at home.
Last year we made an attempt to go hiking every weekend, but have since abandoned it after gymnastics classes and my many school related obligations got in the way. I think we need to try again after the first of the year.
 It really is good for the soul.

Remembering River

When I was a young teenager both of these posters were on my wall. If there was ever a little girl who loved this boy more, I have not met her.

I saw every movie, no matter how bad. Remember A Night in the Life of Jimmy Reardon?

My favorite by far is The Thing Called Love, also starring a very young Sandra Bullock. In it he was a musician. He was tortured by a girl. He married her and it didn't work out. There were ties to Elvis, and Nashville, and oh it just tickles everything in me that makes me love a movie. I could watch it a million times.

I remember waking up November 1, 1993 and hearing the horrible news of his death. I was in my freshman college dorm and I was too stunned to speak. None of my roommates seemed to understand the enormity of the situation and I why I was so devastated.

I also remember 5 years later when I stood on the spot in front of the Viper Room where he died and how it seemed impossible that he was dead. I still think of him all the time. He was the first Hollywood crush I had. He was the first celebrity that I wrote a fan letter to (not counting Alex Karas (may he also rest in peace)). He was the reason why I bought BOP magazine and Tiger Beat.
If he was still alive he would be 42.
I love you and miss you River.