Priorities

I'm bored. It's 9:25 in the am and I'm already done with any important work for the day. The little one is bothering me to come watch Strawberry Shortcake with her. I try not to play with her until about 10:00 so that I set a routine where mommy works in the morning and she watches a video and has a snack and lets me get the important stuff done.

So now I have like maybe another 1/2 hour to hour to myself supposedly and I'm out of stuff to do. I don't want to get into anything big that involves drawing, coloring or design because I'll get lost in time and not come out of my office until my stomach starts growling. I have a couple of architectural projects I could be working on, but I'm waiting for a site plan. So I procrastinate and I'll end up watching Max and Ruby and getting nothing done all day.

It is so frustrating. There is so much I want to do, and yet I feel so guilty with her in the other room trying to entertain herself as well as a 2 year old can. I keep trying to rationalize it all out and say that it's okay if it takes my business a little longer to get off the ground, but I'm impatient and broke and I don't like to watch TV and do puzzles and play outside all day. It is so hard to do both so I do both kind of half assed and don't feel good about either one. It's still 2 1/2 years until she goes to kindergarten full time and I'm not sure I'm willing to wait that long to be able to work more than 2 hours a day. UGHHHH

She is the most patient, easy to entertain little girl in the world so I can't complain about her wanting to play with me, I just wish that there were enough hours in the day so that I could play with her all day, teach her to read, teach her French and Spanish and the basics of classical architecture, have time to design, write, run the other businesses, start my new business, do homework with the boys when they get home from school, make an amazing dinner that does not involve a box and the toaster oven, give everyone baths, and still have energy enough to want to listen to my husband talk about his day when he gets home at 7 instead of just wanting to watch American Idol or House Hunters and tune everyone out while I sink in to the oblivion that is prime time TV.