Bon Iver

This is Bon Iver, aka Justin Vernon.

He can make me cry.

He can make me think of things I haven't thought of in years and make me break down in tears thinking of things from 10 years ago.

His music is that powerful.

I didn't like it at first. We got this album last summer and it's just not summer music. He had a track on the New Moon soundtrack and it made me listen to it again. Some song came on in the middle of a dark snowy afternoon and it all just clicked together. This is winter time music, new year music, reflective music, philisophical music. Now I can't stop listening to it and I wish we had more than 10 tracks from him.

I haven't read his full bio, but this guy seems to have a deep soul. I think he recorded this album in the middle of a lengthy self imposed exile in the woods of Wisconsin. I think that is why it speaks to me so deelpy here in my lengthy self imposed exile deep in the mountains of Arizona.

Yesterday night while baking cookies and listening to his album I came to the very earth shattering conclusion that the reason why I have a hard time being an architect, getting my rugs off the ground, the reason why I don't understand how any woman can be a good mother and work full time is that...  for me it is just not possible. It is just all that I can handle to take care of this big house, my three kids, and attempt to be a supporting wife. If I take on too much more I will slip right over the edge of sanity and I live way too close to that edge now. Maybe other women are better equipped to deal with a professional life, maybe they have better behaved children, maybe their husbands are home more to help out, maybe they can afford to hire help.

But for me this is all  I can handle and most days I have a hard time keeping it all together. And that is okay.

That's the earth shattering part.......it's okay. I don't have to do everything. If this is all I can do right now, that is okay.

Sorry to be so deep, but I fully blame it on Bon Iver, the snow, and lack of any good shows on TV to keep my mind occupied.