Yes I know I post all the juicy details of my life here, but why? Why do I do it?
Sometimes I even ask myself that question. Who likes to talk about their mental illness? Who likes to talk about their financial status? Especially when it is in or near the toilet?
These are things that fascinate me. That's why I talk about them. If I could find other people who talk about the same things I do here, I would read that blog religiously. But not to many people want to share their dirty little secrets. And that is literally what these things are to some people.
Will I ever run for political office? Will I ever need to hide the skeletons in my closet? Probably not. So I don't see a reason to keep all this juicy info to myself.
If I can help one other person to realize that they are not alone then I'm doing some good here. A loan modification should not be embarrassing. It should be liberating. And watching me diagnose and then treat my mental illness is fascinating. We all have issues and if more of us talked about it maybe some of us wouldn't feel so alone.
I can look around in the afternoon at school pick-up and think that all the other mothers are perfect. They have good jobs, never feed their kids frozen food, read stories every night to their children, pay all their bills on time, get 8 hours of sleep a night, never fight with their husbands, and always volunteer for school activities, or I can realize that is not possible. They all have their issues too, they just keep them to themselves.
That's why I write here. It's supposed to be too much information.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Upping the Dosage
So now I'm going from 10 mg of Citalopram to 20 mg a day.
If that doesn't work I will probably have to switch to a drug that is more specialized for OCD.
I say whatever works to get the job done, lets go for it. My doctor told me this could be a long process to find just the right drug and dosage to even everything out. She did also recommend going to see another therapist that specializes in OCD.
Arghhhh. I just want my mind back. It's like fighting myself inside my brain and it literally does drive you crazy. I've never felt more mentally ill.
It's like I've gotten back half of my brain and now it's a battle to the death for the other half.
If that doesn't work I will probably have to switch to a drug that is more specialized for OCD.
I say whatever works to get the job done, lets go for it. My doctor told me this could be a long process to find just the right drug and dosage to even everything out. She did also recommend going to see another therapist that specializes in OCD.
Arghhhh. I just want my mind back. It's like fighting myself inside my brain and it literally does drive you crazy. I've never felt more mentally ill.
It's like I've gotten back half of my brain and now it's a battle to the death for the other half.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Citalopram Update
The last few days my head has been feeling fuzzy. I dont' like it at all. It's like that feeling you get behind your eyes when you eat too much sugar on an empty stomach. Everything is muddled and intense at the same time and there is a dull ache in your brain. Now that the Citalopram is in full effect I think I'm in the place where all my mental issues are supposed to be under control.
What I have noticed is that all the horrible anxious and out of control thoughts are gone. The drugs are working wonders at keeping my anxiety at bay.
The icky parts that are left seem to include the uncontrollable part of my OCD. My version of OCD was intimately tied to my anxiety. I developed the OCD to control my anxiety. I count things to distract my brain from thinking about things it doesn't like to think about. Now that my brain is not clouded by obsessive anxious thoughts there is less for it to do, so to compensate my OCD seems to be going on a counting frenzy. I can't seem to walk by anything without counting it. I can't chew without counting. I can't see a short line of text without wanting to count the letters. I count the shadows on the road as I drive. I count the power lines and the mile markers as I pass them.
I can't remember if I always did this or if it is just more noticeable now and it is bothering me. It is literally driving me crazy. I am trying to stop it and I think that might be what is giving me the headaches. I am wrestling with my brain to stop the OCD that was a coping mechanism and is now just a horrible habit.
Luckily I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning to try and figure this out with a medical professional. Hopefully she will have a different drug I can try, or something else that will still my mind long enough that the counting habit goes away. She did tell me that this particular drug does not work for everyone. Maybe it's best for depression or anxiety, but not for OCD. I just hope she doesn't tell me to continue to see a psychiatrist. Those guys are freaking expensive at 1-2 sessions a week at $80 a pop.
In other news related to my Citalopram.... my previous issue regarding a more personal issue worked itself out wonderfully this past weekend. I can check that side effect off my list.
What I have noticed is that all the horrible anxious and out of control thoughts are gone. The drugs are working wonders at keeping my anxiety at bay.
The icky parts that are left seem to include the uncontrollable part of my OCD. My version of OCD was intimately tied to my anxiety. I developed the OCD to control my anxiety. I count things to distract my brain from thinking about things it doesn't like to think about. Now that my brain is not clouded by obsessive anxious thoughts there is less for it to do, so to compensate my OCD seems to be going on a counting frenzy. I can't seem to walk by anything without counting it. I can't chew without counting. I can't see a short line of text without wanting to count the letters. I count the shadows on the road as I drive. I count the power lines and the mile markers as I pass them.
I can't remember if I always did this or if it is just more noticeable now and it is bothering me. It is literally driving me crazy. I am trying to stop it and I think that might be what is giving me the headaches. I am wrestling with my brain to stop the OCD that was a coping mechanism and is now just a horrible habit.
Luckily I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning to try and figure this out with a medical professional. Hopefully she will have a different drug I can try, or something else that will still my mind long enough that the counting habit goes away. She did tell me that this particular drug does not work for everyone. Maybe it's best for depression or anxiety, but not for OCD. I just hope she doesn't tell me to continue to see a psychiatrist. Those guys are freaking expensive at 1-2 sessions a week at $80 a pop.
In other news related to my Citalopram.... my previous issue regarding a more personal issue worked itself out wonderfully this past weekend. I can check that side effect off my list.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Do I love Bank of America?
Internet is fixed. It must have been one of our four pesky cats that loosed a cable. It only took me an hour to figure it out.
Massive WTF to Bank of America today. I was making my regular Monday phone calls to get my updates for the week from Citi and B of A. I called Jowanna Hill's number first and someone else answered the phone. She said she has Jowanna's old desk and that she couldnt' tell me anything and gave my the regular customer service number to call. After about 20 minutes on hold I was told some very strange information. My new payment isn't going to be $2740/month it's going to be $1630/month. What the hell. That math just doesn't make sense and I'm pretty good at math. I asked the guy to double check a bunch of times but he kept telling me the same thing over and over again. The interest rate is 3%, yada, yada ,yada, all the terms, but I insisted that 3% of my $534,000 loan balance does not work out to $1630 including $294 in taxes and insurance. I have no idea what kind of math they are doing, but I'll wait until I see that paperwork to believe it.
I sent an e-mail to my new negotiator to see if he could clarify in the meantime.
Citi still has their heads up their asses. Every time I call they say that no one has requested that the packet get sent out to me, but now since I called they will send it out now. Ummm, that is what I was told last week. There is some crazy crap going on over there. I thought B of A was bad, but CitiMortgage has absolutely no clue. It all seems to be double talk. I've called every week for the last month and still no one has sent me the mysterious packet that will make my loan modification go through. It almost seems as if they are stalling. I am now officially supposed to get the packet 7-10 business days after may 31st. Yeah like that makes sense.
This is weird too. Every time I call in to the Mortgage Assistance department, while I am still on hold waiting to talk to someone, an agent from the collection department calls me. This has happened for the past three weeks.
Needless to say so far I love Bank of America especially if my new payment is indeed $1630. That is insane.
Massive WTF to Bank of America today. I was making my regular Monday phone calls to get my updates for the week from Citi and B of A. I called Jowanna Hill's number first and someone else answered the phone. She said she has Jowanna's old desk and that she couldnt' tell me anything and gave my the regular customer service number to call. After about 20 minutes on hold I was told some very strange information. My new payment isn't going to be $2740/month it's going to be $1630/month. What the hell. That math just doesn't make sense and I'm pretty good at math. I asked the guy to double check a bunch of times but he kept telling me the same thing over and over again. The interest rate is 3%, yada, yada ,yada, all the terms, but I insisted that 3% of my $534,000 loan balance does not work out to $1630 including $294 in taxes and insurance. I have no idea what kind of math they are doing, but I'll wait until I see that paperwork to believe it.
I sent an e-mail to my new negotiator to see if he could clarify in the meantime.
Citi still has their heads up their asses. Every time I call they say that no one has requested that the packet get sent out to me, but now since I called they will send it out now. Ummm, that is what I was told last week. There is some crazy crap going on over there. I thought B of A was bad, but CitiMortgage has absolutely no clue. It all seems to be double talk. I've called every week for the last month and still no one has sent me the mysterious packet that will make my loan modification go through. It almost seems as if they are stalling. I am now officially supposed to get the packet 7-10 business days after may 31st. Yeah like that makes sense.
This is weird too. Every time I call in to the Mortgage Assistance department, while I am still on hold waiting to talk to someone, an agent from the collection department calls me. This has happened for the past three weeks.
Needless to say so far I love Bank of America especially if my new payment is indeed $1630. That is insane.
Friday, May 21, 2010
San Francisco Peaks and Calm Mind
I did it. There is a new more season appropriate photo in my header. I will admit though that this is from last summer. There is still a little bit of snow on the tippy top and I didn't want it in my new spring photo. So there you go. Yeah!
I thought I'd write a little bit more about my new clear headed outlook on the world.
If you go back and read through some of my old stuff you will notice that my mind is muddled. I knew it was muddled and it bothered me tremendously. I could not decide what to do with the rest of my life. I have my rugs, my architecture license, my fabulous blogs and that nagging thing in the back of my head that has been telling me to write for the past few years, not to mention the other crazy notions on being a real estate agent, a librarian, or a mail carrier. What to do has been a central problem in my mind for a while. I think it is part of what made me go over the edge a couple of months ago. It was too much for me to decide.
Now that my head is more of a calm lake than a raging river I can see things much clearer. It has become painfully obvious that I need to write and only write as my main vocation. I would not die happily if I did not get out what I want to say. I have stories to tell and ideas to disseminate. If there is one thing I would want to look back on my life and say that I did it would be to publish a book. Books are my life (besides my family). There isn't a day that goes by when I don't pick up at least 5. They are my passion. And let's talk about how excited I am driving back from dropping the kids off at school or coming back from the gym when I sit in my car and dream about what I'm going to come back here and write about. It's my favorite thing to do all day. I've written lists of things that I want to write about here on this blog and on my other writing blog. It's like all the extra stuff has been wiped clear of my head and I can see the things that matter most to me. I'm not focusing on what will make me money or what will be easiest. I am focusing on what will make me the most satisfied mentally, on the thing that will challenge me the most, and what will make me feel like I have done something with my life. It's writing. It's reading and I can't fight it off any longer.
The drugs work!
I thought I'd write a little bit more about my new clear headed outlook on the world.
If you go back and read through some of my old stuff you will notice that my mind is muddled. I knew it was muddled and it bothered me tremendously. I could not decide what to do with the rest of my life. I have my rugs, my architecture license, my fabulous blogs and that nagging thing in the back of my head that has been telling me to write for the past few years, not to mention the other crazy notions on being a real estate agent, a librarian, or a mail carrier. What to do has been a central problem in my mind for a while. I think it is part of what made me go over the edge a couple of months ago. It was too much for me to decide.
Now that my head is more of a calm lake than a raging river I can see things much clearer. It has become painfully obvious that I need to write and only write as my main vocation. I would not die happily if I did not get out what I want to say. I have stories to tell and ideas to disseminate. If there is one thing I would want to look back on my life and say that I did it would be to publish a book. Books are my life (besides my family). There isn't a day that goes by when I don't pick up at least 5. They are my passion. And let's talk about how excited I am driving back from dropping the kids off at school or coming back from the gym when I sit in my car and dream about what I'm going to come back here and write about. It's my favorite thing to do all day. I've written lists of things that I want to write about here on this blog and on my other writing blog. It's like all the extra stuff has been wiped clear of my head and I can see the things that matter most to me. I'm not focusing on what will make me money or what will be easiest. I am focusing on what will make me the most satisfied mentally, on the thing that will challenge me the most, and what will make me feel like I have done something with my life. It's writing. It's reading and I can't fight it off any longer.
The drugs work!
Thursday, May 20, 2010
2nd Loan Modification Update
So technically we have modified our first mortgage. I still have yet to hear from Jowanna at B of A. I have nothing to make a June payment (no pay stub or paperwork) so I'm just gonna wait that one out and see if we get something to make the July payment. The last time I spoke with someone over there they said that my first trial payment wasn't due until July 1. I like that plan so we'll stick to that unless I hear from Jowanna.
Now the 2nd mortgage is with CitiMortgage. I did not make the April or May payments and they have been hounding me something awful to send in a payment. I'm taking all the collection calls and usually stumping the reps with my double talk, vast knowledge of the banking system and the home loan modification system. The collection people will try and tell you that if you don't make your payments it will ruin your chances for a modification.... Lie. They will tell you that a loan modification is not an excuse to stop making payments......Lie. They will tell you that a loan modification will not take your back past due payments and roll them into a new loan......Lie. Their sole purpose is to get you to send in a payment RIGHT NOW. Ignore them. It's a second. They can't touch you and with the drop in home values most second mortgages are now unsecured loans. There is no equity or anything to back up the smaller 2nd loans. They will lose all of their money and any chance to get it back if they try and foreclose on you in a non-recourse state. Those pesky little collection agents don't know any of that crap. They will try and talk you in circles. One of them even asked my if my family and I had made plans to move yet? They've got balls, but no cock. Don't let them rattle you.
So in addition to dealing with collections department at Citi I have also been talking to the Home Retention Department. I've been getting the run around over there since March. They were telling me that they could do nothing until I had finished my loan mod with B of A. I called as soon as I got the modified numbers from Jowanna and gave all the info to Citi. When I called back a week later to check on my status they had no record of me calling in the week before. I gave all the new info again and was finally told that with the new numbers from B of A I did in fact qualify for a modification from Citi and that they would send me a packet in the mail. I'm still waiting for that packet. I have sent them nothing more than the application, no bank statements, no pay stubs, no tax returns.
I called again on Tuesday to get an update and find out where my 'packet' was. I was told it is still in transit but did I want to know my new payment amount!!!! What? Apparently the system over at Citi is a little different than at B of A, either that or the 2nd does truly just copy what ever the first mortgage holder does.
So Drumroll Please........
The final numbers are 1st Mortgage: $2440.40
2nd Mortgage: $466.29
Taxes and Insurance: $297.00
For a grand total of $3203.69
Previous numbers were $3803.73, $855.22, plus taxes and insurance for a total of $4955.95
That is a savings of over $1700 a month in interest. Over the life time of the loans we will save over $300,000 in payments.
It is totally worth all the headaches and collection calls and waiting and time. Do it yourself before it's too late.
Now the 2nd mortgage is with CitiMortgage. I did not make the April or May payments and they have been hounding me something awful to send in a payment. I'm taking all the collection calls and usually stumping the reps with my double talk, vast knowledge of the banking system and the home loan modification system. The collection people will try and tell you that if you don't make your payments it will ruin your chances for a modification.... Lie. They will tell you that a loan modification is not an excuse to stop making payments......Lie. They will tell you that a loan modification will not take your back past due payments and roll them into a new loan......Lie. Their sole purpose is to get you to send in a payment RIGHT NOW. Ignore them. It's a second. They can't touch you and with the drop in home values most second mortgages are now unsecured loans. There is no equity or anything to back up the smaller 2nd loans. They will lose all of their money and any chance to get it back if they try and foreclose on you in a non-recourse state. Those pesky little collection agents don't know any of that crap. They will try and talk you in circles. One of them even asked my if my family and I had made plans to move yet? They've got balls, but no cock. Don't let them rattle you.
So in addition to dealing with collections department at Citi I have also been talking to the Home Retention Department. I've been getting the run around over there since March. They were telling me that they could do nothing until I had finished my loan mod with B of A. I called as soon as I got the modified numbers from Jowanna and gave all the info to Citi. When I called back a week later to check on my status they had no record of me calling in the week before. I gave all the new info again and was finally told that with the new numbers from B of A I did in fact qualify for a modification from Citi and that they would send me a packet in the mail. I'm still waiting for that packet. I have sent them nothing more than the application, no bank statements, no pay stubs, no tax returns.
I called again on Tuesday to get an update and find out where my 'packet' was. I was told it is still in transit but did I want to know my new payment amount!!!! What? Apparently the system over at Citi is a little different than at B of A, either that or the 2nd does truly just copy what ever the first mortgage holder does.
So Drumroll Please........
The final numbers are 1st Mortgage: $2440.40
2nd Mortgage: $466.29
Taxes and Insurance: $297.00
For a grand total of $3203.69
Previous numbers were $3803.73, $855.22, plus taxes and insurance for a total of $4955.95
That is a savings of over $1700 a month in interest. Over the life time of the loans we will save over $300,000 in payments.
It is totally worth all the headaches and collection calls and waiting and time. Do it yourself before it's too late.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
I got Nothing for you
I was going to write a post about our upcoming anniversary this weekend, but it reading it over it sucked ass.
So I deleted it and this is what you're getting instead..... nothing.
I'm not feeling it today. Nothing is tickling my brain that needs to get out.
I may head over to my other blog and go on a tirade about trying to write for magazines. I must find a way to make money sometime soon and that seems like a good way to use my dope writing skillz and my vast architectural knowledge together to make a little ca$h.
So I deleted it and this is what you're getting instead..... nothing.
I'm not feeling it today. Nothing is tickling my brain that needs to get out.
I may head over to my other blog and go on a tirade about trying to write for magazines. I must find a way to make money sometime soon and that seems like a good way to use my dope writing skillz and my vast architectural knowledge together to make a little ca$h.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Ipad vs Kindle vs Sony Reader
While in Vegas this past weekend I was able to check out a lot of new technological advances in the e-reader realm.
Let me start by saying that I am a bibliophile. I love, love, love my books. I love the way they look on my shelves. I love the way they smell. I love the feel of all the different kinds of paper between my fingertips. I may not ever be a true convert to the e-reader technology, but since it is book related and I'm seeing it everywhere it was definitely a technology that I wanted to try out.
My experience is small, but I have a definite opinion after trying out some of the options.
The Sony Reader sucks. It's tiny. When the pages 'turn', (a better word would be 'change') it hurts my eyes. The screen morphs from grey with black text to black with gray text and then back to regular grey with black text. The screen is so tiny too that you have to change pages like every 20 seconds which means that the constant color change morphing of pages gives me a headache. I couldn't get used to it. Also the button for turning pages is on the side and I didn't like it at all. I just couldn't picture myself cozying up to this tiny metal piece of equipment.
I could say almost the same thing about the Kindle, but it is a little bit more technologically advanced and a little bit more elegant. The downloading capabilities are cool. I love my Amazon just as much as I love my books. The vast majority of my books are delivered to my door by Amazon so it would be an easy step to just let Amazon deliver all my books wirelessly to my Kindle............ except that........
I have an Ipad and it kicks ass. The main draw back of the other e-readers is the limited Internet usage. If I am going to carry something around all day it might as well be able to do other things beside just look at books, otherwise I would just carry around a book. They don't have Internet connections either.
But the Ipad is a tiny amazing thing that multitasks as much as I do. The coolest thing about the Ipad and the IBooks is that the books actually look like books. The pages are a familiar sight. It's not gray. It's white with black lettering. It's bigger than the other e-readers and the page sizes match an actual book. The coolest thing about the Ipad book reader is that you have the illusion that you are actually turning a page. You use your finger and swipe it across the page and the page turns just like in a real book, or a very accurate simulation. There is no strange screen jump, just as smooth transition from page to page. Not only can you download apps for copyright free books, you can get books from Apple and download the Kindle app for free. This ties my into my two favorite places on earth..... the Apple store and Amazon. It's downright amazing the crap I can carry around on my Ipad. Why would I ever get something that can only read books like those other e-readers? On my Ipad I can bowl, play air hockey, read Oliver Twist or The Lost Symbol, organize my day, check my e-mail and find out the latest Celebrity news.
Now I've had my Ipad for about a month. I'm not using it to it's full potential. I've downloaded a few books and actually bought a few with the Kindle app. Reading the books is another story all together. It still feels awkward to me. It's not the same as a book. I like to stop in the middle of reading, put in my bookmark, close the book and see how far I've come. This is not possible with an e-reader. There isn't as much of a sense of progress thru a thick text. It's more like a never ending cascade of pages. I'm going to keep trying and see if it grows on me. You really can't beat the convenience of the Ipad, but it is a transition from real books. I will never be able to give up the thrill I get from waiting for the UPS man to drop my books off at the front door, cracking open the box, and fliping thru a new book. No e-reader can substitute that thrill. The books are instant, but sometimes the actual books are worth the wait of 2 day shipping
Let me start by saying that I am a bibliophile. I love, love, love my books. I love the way they look on my shelves. I love the way they smell. I love the feel of all the different kinds of paper between my fingertips. I may not ever be a true convert to the e-reader technology, but since it is book related and I'm seeing it everywhere it was definitely a technology that I wanted to try out.
My experience is small, but I have a definite opinion after trying out some of the options.
The Sony Reader sucks. It's tiny. When the pages 'turn', (a better word would be 'change') it hurts my eyes. The screen morphs from grey with black text to black with gray text and then back to regular grey with black text. The screen is so tiny too that you have to change pages like every 20 seconds which means that the constant color change morphing of pages gives me a headache. I couldn't get used to it. Also the button for turning pages is on the side and I didn't like it at all. I just couldn't picture myself cozying up to this tiny metal piece of equipment.
I could say almost the same thing about the Kindle, but it is a little bit more technologically advanced and a little bit more elegant. The downloading capabilities are cool. I love my Amazon just as much as I love my books. The vast majority of my books are delivered to my door by Amazon so it would be an easy step to just let Amazon deliver all my books wirelessly to my Kindle............ except that........
I have an Ipad and it kicks ass. The main draw back of the other e-readers is the limited Internet usage. If I am going to carry something around all day it might as well be able to do other things beside just look at books, otherwise I would just carry around a book. They don't have Internet connections either.
But the Ipad is a tiny amazing thing that multitasks as much as I do. The coolest thing about the Ipad and the IBooks is that the books actually look like books. The pages are a familiar sight. It's not gray. It's white with black lettering. It's bigger than the other e-readers and the page sizes match an actual book. The coolest thing about the Ipad book reader is that you have the illusion that you are actually turning a page. You use your finger and swipe it across the page and the page turns just like in a real book, or a very accurate simulation. There is no strange screen jump, just as smooth transition from page to page. Not only can you download apps for copyright free books, you can get books from Apple and download the Kindle app for free. This ties my into my two favorite places on earth..... the Apple store and Amazon. It's downright amazing the crap I can carry around on my Ipad. Why would I ever get something that can only read books like those other e-readers? On my Ipad I can bowl, play air hockey, read Oliver Twist or The Lost Symbol, organize my day, check my e-mail and find out the latest Celebrity news.
Now I've had my Ipad for about a month. I'm not using it to it's full potential. I've downloaded a few books and actually bought a few with the Kindle app. Reading the books is another story all together. It still feels awkward to me. It's not the same as a book. I like to stop in the middle of reading, put in my bookmark, close the book and see how far I've come. This is not possible with an e-reader. There isn't as much of a sense of progress thru a thick text. It's more like a never ending cascade of pages. I'm going to keep trying and see if it grows on me. You really can't beat the convenience of the Ipad, but it is a transition from real books. I will never be able to give up the thrill I get from waiting for the UPS man to drop my books off at the front door, cracking open the box, and fliping thru a new book. No e-reader can substitute that thrill. The books are instant, but sometimes the actual books are worth the wait of 2 day shipping
Monday, May 17, 2010
Bellagio Fountains
Okay, so there wasn't too much debauchery this weekend in Vegas. The above photos show 2 of my favorite places..... the Bellagio Fountains and the atrium at the new Palazzo hotel.
If I could spend the whole evening in a deck chair on the promenade around the Bellagion fountains I would be one happy camper. Unfortunately I would probably gets trampled by the masses of people carrying 2 foot long drinks along Las Vegas Boulevard. If you've never been to Vegas, it's not like it is in Oceans 11, it is never deserted in front of the fountains. You never have enough elbow room and you always seem to end up next to a drunk girl with her tits hanging out, or some stinky old people. Brad Pitt and George Clooney are never there. But even with the throngs of people it is still my favorite place in Vegas. If you're lucky they play a cool song like something from Frank Sinatra or Elvis, but no, not this time for us. It was a crappy show tune. I can't even remember the name of the song, but I was so disappointed. If I wanted show tunes I'd go to New York. This is Vegas. As Carl said, "I wonder if they ever do any Black Sabbath?"
So we're back. I only bought 1 pair of shoes and nothing else. I was impressed. I spend some time at Bauman's rare books, ogled the Versace and Gucci, and Kate Spade windows, and wished for the day that I could drop $750 on a pair of shoes or $4000 on a bag.
Now back to real life. This is my last full day to myself until school starts again next fall. I need to find a way to get the best out of it, so I probably shouldn't be sitting in my office all day.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Vegas Baby, Vegas
So yes, again we are travelling to Las Vegas this weekend. For people who don't gamble we sure go there a lot. It's fun. There's a lot to look at. I love the faux architecture. I love to people watch. I love the food. I love the window shopping. I love to get dressed up and walk around. It's kind of like an old school promenade. It's like the Bath of the 21st century.
I'm going to eat all kinds of sugar but try and not have any soda. It's all about cakes and pies and donuts this weekend with maybe a little ice cream thrown in as well. Thank god for Spanxs!
I will try and post a blog post tomorrow, but hopefully we will leave early and I'll run out of time. That will put me one blog post behind my original goal, but I think I'm going to keep blogging daily. I've always got something to whine about and I like to daily writing. I need to get in that habit.
I am however going to go back to writing on my second blog again, Reading and Writing at 7000'. I gave it up for a while, but rather than bore some of you with my extensive reading lists, and mindless literary tirades I will post them over there instead of here. Get the link from my profile page because I'm too lazy to post it in here.
Till tomorrow, or till Monday. I'll bring back some pictures of all our Vegas debauchery.
I'm going to eat all kinds of sugar but try and not have any soda. It's all about cakes and pies and donuts this weekend with maybe a little ice cream thrown in as well. Thank god for Spanxs!
I will try and post a blog post tomorrow, but hopefully we will leave early and I'll run out of time. That will put me one blog post behind my original goal, but I think I'm going to keep blogging daily. I've always got something to whine about and I like to daily writing. I need to get in that habit.
I am however going to go back to writing on my second blog again, Reading and Writing at 7000'. I gave it up for a while, but rather than bore some of you with my extensive reading lists, and mindless literary tirades I will post them over there instead of here. Get the link from my profile page because I'm too lazy to post it in here.
Till tomorrow, or till Monday. I'll bring back some pictures of all our Vegas debauchery.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
I won't do that again
That just seriously drained my brain. I am not political. I would much rather argue about whether Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are really dating then talk about anything that is on the real news.
I'm just not that person. That must have just been a brain fart. I will not do that again. That just seems like it will set me up to get a lot of crazies posting back about how I don't know shit about the situation. Well they would be right. I have an opinion, but it is no more right or wrong than anyone else's opinion, but I'm not going to argue about it. What is your opinion is yours, and mine is mine. I won't try and change yours and I'll keep mine. End of story.
Whew. Now tomorrow I'll get back to posting about my rad trip to Vegas this weekend to celebrate my being a mother for ten years to a cool little kid.
I'm just not that person. That must have just been a brain fart. I will not do that again. That just seems like it will set me up to get a lot of crazies posting back about how I don't know shit about the situation. Well they would be right. I have an opinion, but it is no more right or wrong than anyone else's opinion, but I'm not going to argue about it. What is your opinion is yours, and mine is mine. I won't try and change yours and I'll keep mine. End of story.
Whew. Now tomorrow I'll get back to posting about my rad trip to Vegas this weekend to celebrate my being a mother for ten years to a cool little kid.
My Take on Arizona Immigration Issues
What to write about today? I've been very good about posting every day, but today I've got nothing that is itching my brain that needs to get out.
I could write about the Arizona Immigration thing, but I'm not that political, I don't know all the facts, and I don't see what is bad about taking people who are here illegally out of the country. We're not shipping them off to concentration camps to kill them as some people are comparing the 'asking for papers' to Hitler. We are simply sending them back to their country. They can come back, just come back legally. You can't really compare it to the pilgrims and indians either. This isn't the sixteenth century. It's the twenty-first. Big difference. We all have our own opinions about what is right and wrong. I personally don't mind if there are people here illegally as long as they aren't causing trouble. But I would think that the people coming here illegally, since they are doing it illegally, might have no issues about doing other things that are illegal as well. Just my opinion. I also think most cops should be too busy to ask every brown person for their papers.
We are pretty isolated from these problems up here in Flagstaff, but as I understand it, in Phoenix and Tuscon, there are lot of issues with school over-crowding and second language programs that are made worse by an influx of illegals. Whether the solution is sending them all back to Mexico, I don't know.
I think I understand the bigger issue is about our rights as Americans and getting asked to prove that we are really Americans, but isn't is the same as when you get pulled over and get asked for your driver's license and proof of insurance. Cops are allowed to ask questions. That is kind of their job, and then they enforce the law. This just seems like the same thing to me.
I could write about the Arizona Immigration thing, but I'm not that political, I don't know all the facts, and I don't see what is bad about taking people who are here illegally out of the country. We're not shipping them off to concentration camps to kill them as some people are comparing the 'asking for papers' to Hitler. We are simply sending them back to their country. They can come back, just come back legally. You can't really compare it to the pilgrims and indians either. This isn't the sixteenth century. It's the twenty-first. Big difference. We all have our own opinions about what is right and wrong. I personally don't mind if there are people here illegally as long as they aren't causing trouble. But I would think that the people coming here illegally, since they are doing it illegally, might have no issues about doing other things that are illegal as well. Just my opinion. I also think most cops should be too busy to ask every brown person for their papers.
We are pretty isolated from these problems up here in Flagstaff, but as I understand it, in Phoenix and Tuscon, there are lot of issues with school over-crowding and second language programs that are made worse by an influx of illegals. Whether the solution is sending them all back to Mexico, I don't know.
I think I understand the bigger issue is about our rights as Americans and getting asked to prove that we are really Americans, but isn't is the same as when you get pulled over and get asked for your driver's license and proof of insurance. Cops are allowed to ask questions. That is kind of their job, and then they enforce the law. This just seems like the same thing to me.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Why does it smell like Band-Aids in my office?
I"m still meaning to get a new photo for the head of this blog, but damn those 40 mph winds. I couldn't even go out on the back deck if I wanted to. There is dust, birds, trash (albeit clean trash since it's recycle day) blowing around, and I'm serious when I say that the wind chill is around 30 degrees. I'm not going out there until it's sunny, 75, and the wind is under 5 mph. The windows are rattling and moaning, the chimney is howling, and there is a horrible negative pressure in the house that is popping my eardrums. Yes it's that windy. Who knew mountains are windy? Obviously not me.
So I'm still loving my new drug altered brain. I'm serious about the writing thing again and now I honestly believe that I can do it. My idea is still fabulous even though I have PMS. It still seems compeltely possible for me to get a book published. I know I've said this before, but now it seems like something I can achieve easily. I'm not talking myself out of it anymore. If I had to sum up the benefits of taking an anti-anxiety drug.... I would say that my brain doesn't talk back to me anymore. It was an unruly 14 year old girl that bitched at everything that I wanted to do. "Are you crazy?" "You are not serious are you?" "You are so not cool enough for that." And now it's a beautiful 3 year old who never throws tantrums and would do anything to make me happy...... "We're gonna do what?" "Yea! I'm so excited." "Is there going to be ice cream?"
I absolutley love it. Why does it smell like band-aids in my office? I have it all planned out. I've got a research schedule and book reading list for the rest of this month, as well as character sketches to work on. Then next month I start writing. I've already written the first three chapters. I need to plot out the rest of the book and I am good to go. I will write all summer and then edit and rewrite in the fall when the kids go back to school.
Since we are still low on funds my rugs will move to the back burner. Once I finish the purple one in the studio I'm going to take it around to some local consignment galleries here and in Sedona and see what happens. If and when it sells, I'll get started on a new one and keep going until I have enough funds to launch bigger. But in the meantime I am going to focus on writing and just work on the rugs as a creative outlet.
I've got a plan! Life is good and it still smells like Band-Aids.
So I'm still loving my new drug altered brain. I'm serious about the writing thing again and now I honestly believe that I can do it. My idea is still fabulous even though I have PMS. It still seems compeltely possible for me to get a book published. I know I've said this before, but now it seems like something I can achieve easily. I'm not talking myself out of it anymore. If I had to sum up the benefits of taking an anti-anxiety drug.... I would say that my brain doesn't talk back to me anymore. It was an unruly 14 year old girl that bitched at everything that I wanted to do. "Are you crazy?" "You are not serious are you?" "You are so not cool enough for that." And now it's a beautiful 3 year old who never throws tantrums and would do anything to make me happy...... "We're gonna do what?" "Yea! I'm so excited." "Is there going to be ice cream?"
I absolutley love it. Why does it smell like band-aids in my office? I have it all planned out. I've got a research schedule and book reading list for the rest of this month, as well as character sketches to work on. Then next month I start writing. I've already written the first three chapters. I need to plot out the rest of the book and I am good to go. I will write all summer and then edit and rewrite in the fall when the kids go back to school.
Since we are still low on funds my rugs will move to the back burner. Once I finish the purple one in the studio I'm going to take it around to some local consignment galleries here and in Sedona and see what happens. If and when it sells, I'll get started on a new one and keep going until I have enough funds to launch bigger. But in the meantime I am going to focus on writing and just work on the rugs as a creative outlet.
I've got a plan! Life is good and it still smells like Band-Aids.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Another Vegas Weekend
I'm not going to write a crap load today. I'm working. I'm PMSing and it is perfectly under control. Other than the kids being especially annoying I am totally in control, but craving chocolate by the mouthfuls. It's gonna be a good week and then we head to Vegas for the weekend.
Who takes a 10 yr old to Vegas for his birthday? We do, and it's going to kick ass. Gun ranges, go carts, and Circus Circus. I know. How white trash can we get? I'm hoping to skip most of those activities and head to the rare book store at the Palazzo and shop at Caesars.
Till tomorrow.
Who takes a 10 yr old to Vegas for his birthday? We do, and it's going to kick ass. Gun ranges, go carts, and Circus Circus. I know. How white trash can we get? I'm hoping to skip most of those activities and head to the rare book store at the Palazzo and shop at Caesars.
Till tomorrow.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Modification Update Again
So Jowanna Hilll seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth again. That and her email address is coming back as undeliverable. WTF. I was going to go back and see what my good friend Louis had to say about this, but before I did that I ran across an e-mail he had sent me which listed the phone numbers of other negotiators who work with Jowanna who I should contact in case I can't get a hold of Jowanna. All of their phone numbers were out of service. Double WTF. So I called Louis and left a message. Still no response from him, but I am currently on hold trying to get some info from a generic B of A representative.
This all started because I got 2 bills from B of A yesterday saying that I was late on my May payment and that I either needed to pay an extra $515/ month into my escrow account in addition to my mortgage payment or that I could make a one time $2040 payment to catch up on my delinquent escrow.
This was baffling since Jowanna told me not to make an April or May payment.
Okay, so the official word from B of A is that I should just keep waiting for Jowanna. She does still work there. She is still assigned to my file. I should only do as Jowanna says. I was told that if I do not hear back from her or get a statement in the mail for the June 1 payment then I should call back for further instructions.
This gets complicated some times. All of the info that is sent to me in the mail contradicts the info that Jowanna and the bank tells me. Always call. Things will hopefully all work themselves out in the end.
This all started because I got 2 bills from B of A yesterday saying that I was late on my May payment and that I either needed to pay an extra $515/ month into my escrow account in addition to my mortgage payment or that I could make a one time $2040 payment to catch up on my delinquent escrow.
This was baffling since Jowanna told me not to make an April or May payment.
Okay, so the official word from B of A is that I should just keep waiting for Jowanna. She does still work there. She is still assigned to my file. I should only do as Jowanna says. I was told that if I do not hear back from her or get a statement in the mail for the June 1 payment then I should call back for further instructions.
This gets complicated some times. All of the info that is sent to me in the mail contradicts the info that Jowanna and the bank tells me. Always call. Things will hopefully all work themselves out in the end.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
My Happiness Project
I tried to not buy books for a week, but is that any way to make me happy? Hell no. It's who I am. I buy arm loads of books. Do I need to cut back? Definitely, but there is no way I can go cold turkey. Me not buying books is like me not drinking chocolate milk. It's in my DNA. I have to be me and that includes buying books and drinking chocolate milk.
It is an interesting idea to think about who I really am and just try and be that person. It's harder than you might think. There are so many ways that we all try to be things that we are not. In retrospect, I was trying to convince myself that I didn't need help with my anxiety, but I have a problem and it's much easier to admit that that is who I am then to try and deny it and suffer in silence.
I might want to be a real estate agent or a veternarian, but deep down that is not who I am. Try it. Think about who you want to be and try to be versus who you really are. It's challenging, but then it all seems much clearer and you can let some things go.
Anyway, I'm doing pretty well on my whole no sugar diet. It has morphed into not much sugar. I did take the kids out for ice cream yesterday and I got a cone too. I tried to stave off my Oreo craving by having some Cookies-n-Cream. It's not the same. So I'm going to have sugar, but not like I used to. I still drink my chocolate milk, but I'm trying not to do it every day. I'm still eating cookies, but only once every few days. It seems to be working.
I realized after about a week of no sugar and not much white flour that I was going to starve if I continued to eat that way. So I am eating better, but still having normal food. Heck I've already lost 4 pounds just majorly cutting back on the sugar snacks.
And I decided as far as my books go, that I will try and just buy 2 books a week. That seems pretty reasonable. Technically 2 a week, or 104 a year is about all I can actually read in that time frame. We'll see how that goes. Today I bought 6 books, yesterday 2, and the day before 10, not including the 4 that were delivered from Amazon. It really is too much. I've run out of shelf space, again.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Citalopram and Me
I seriously need to get a new picute of the mountain for my header now that almost all of the snow has melted.
Now let's talk about drugs.
For the past 3 weeks I've been taking 10MG of Citalopram every day. It is usually used to treat anxiety as well as depression. I think it's a close cousin of Zoloft, but less expensive since it is offered in a generic. Yea for $3 prescriptions at Target.
Now I was told by my doctor that it can take 6-8 week for the drug to take full effect, but I have noticed a difference right away.
I used to get so aggitated driving anywhere and for the past week or so either the number of stupid drivers on the road has dramatically decreased, or they just aren't bothering me anymore.
I used to get home from the grocery store or home from picking up the kids in the afternoon and feel utterly paralized when faced with what to do first.... should I wash my hands first, should I go pee first, should I take care of the kids first, should I put the eggs in the refridgerator first, should I turn the heat on first. This was so hard for me it mentally hurt. Now when I get home that struggle in my head is completely gone. It's obvious what I need to do and I'm not going to wait for my bladder to explode while I do other things I think need to be done first.
I used to aggonize about going to bed at night. Carl would be asleep and it would be just me, my thoughts, and the TV. I had to wait until I was fully asleep before I turned off the TV, or just put the thing on sleep timer. I was scared to death to try and fall asleep without something to distract me. Now I can turn it off when my eyes are getting heavy and fall right asleep thinking pleasant thoughts instead of, "What if the earth loses gravity tonight?" thoughts.
I used to have a hard time during the day (Mon and Wed) when I am home alone. I was starting to shop too much becuase I didn't want to be home alone with my thoughts. It was keeping me from getting things done that needed to be done. I was obsessivly checking Perez and Facebook, now I can go all morning/afternoon without checking and can wait until after dinner to check them. It was keeping me from blogging. Writing is one of the scarriest things you can do when you are afraid of your own mind. Hopefully now that my mind and I are making friends, we can start to get some more writing done.
Now this a big one and somewhat sensitive....... the drugs seem to be making it harder for me to reach an orgasm. WHAT?? Did I just say that? Yes I did. I don't ordinarily indulge in too much sexy talk anywhere. It's one of those subjects that is just between me and my husband, but I thought that this was important enough to note. What if someonne Googles Citalopram looking for it's side effects, sees my glowing review of the drug and thinks, "Wow this is the drug for me!", without knowing that is does have some less than stellar side effects. Now I'm not saying it's impossible to have an orgasm, but just that I've tried all my usual tricks and gotten nothing so far. I'll definitely be trying harder to see if it's an all or nothing kind of thing, or if I've just got to try harder to get there. So far it doesn't bother me too much. Months from now if I am still unsuccessful I'll want to switch drugs, but for now it almost seems like a worthy sacrifice for my sanity.
Life seems a hell of a lot less scary than it was last month. My hormones will be ramping up this week so this will be the real test of the drug. Can I go through PMS and not freak out as usual? This will be the weekend to find out. I'm starting to get excited about projects and the summer and writing and blogging and my rugs. This is the me that I have been missing. Writing seems easier when my brain is not fighting with my hands.
Now let's talk about drugs.
For the past 3 weeks I've been taking 10MG of Citalopram every day. It is usually used to treat anxiety as well as depression. I think it's a close cousin of Zoloft, but less expensive since it is offered in a generic. Yea for $3 prescriptions at Target.
Now I was told by my doctor that it can take 6-8 week for the drug to take full effect, but I have noticed a difference right away.
I used to get so aggitated driving anywhere and for the past week or so either the number of stupid drivers on the road has dramatically decreased, or they just aren't bothering me anymore.
I used to get home from the grocery store or home from picking up the kids in the afternoon and feel utterly paralized when faced with what to do first.... should I wash my hands first, should I go pee first, should I take care of the kids first, should I put the eggs in the refridgerator first, should I turn the heat on first. This was so hard for me it mentally hurt. Now when I get home that struggle in my head is completely gone. It's obvious what I need to do and I'm not going to wait for my bladder to explode while I do other things I think need to be done first.
I used to aggonize about going to bed at night. Carl would be asleep and it would be just me, my thoughts, and the TV. I had to wait until I was fully asleep before I turned off the TV, or just put the thing on sleep timer. I was scared to death to try and fall asleep without something to distract me. Now I can turn it off when my eyes are getting heavy and fall right asleep thinking pleasant thoughts instead of, "What if the earth loses gravity tonight?" thoughts.
I used to have a hard time during the day (Mon and Wed) when I am home alone. I was starting to shop too much becuase I didn't want to be home alone with my thoughts. It was keeping me from getting things done that needed to be done. I was obsessivly checking Perez and Facebook, now I can go all morning/afternoon without checking and can wait until after dinner to check them. It was keeping me from blogging. Writing is one of the scarriest things you can do when you are afraid of your own mind. Hopefully now that my mind and I are making friends, we can start to get some more writing done.
Now this a big one and somewhat sensitive....... the drugs seem to be making it harder for me to reach an orgasm. WHAT?? Did I just say that? Yes I did. I don't ordinarily indulge in too much sexy talk anywhere. It's one of those subjects that is just between me and my husband, but I thought that this was important enough to note. What if someonne Googles Citalopram looking for it's side effects, sees my glowing review of the drug and thinks, "Wow this is the drug for me!", without knowing that is does have some less than stellar side effects. Now I'm not saying it's impossible to have an orgasm, but just that I've tried all my usual tricks and gotten nothing so far. I'll definitely be trying harder to see if it's an all or nothing kind of thing, or if I've just got to try harder to get there. So far it doesn't bother me too much. Months from now if I am still unsuccessful I'll want to switch drugs, but for now it almost seems like a worthy sacrifice for my sanity.
Life seems a hell of a lot less scary than it was last month. My hormones will be ramping up this week so this will be the real test of the drug. Can I go through PMS and not freak out as usual? This will be the weekend to find out. I'm starting to get excited about projects and the summer and writing and blogging and my rugs. This is the me that I have been missing. Writing seems easier when my brain is not fighting with my hands.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
May Loan Modification Update
I bought some books. Too many books. I made the mistake of going to the library, coming home with a stack of amazing books, and then jsut for fun looking up the books on Amazon and Abe books. I found 7 of the books that I had checked out for only $1-$3! I had to buy them. It takes the stress off of having to read them all before they are due back at the library. How can I turn down an amazing book for only $1 (plus S&H). So I will not make that resolution to not buy books for 2 weeks. I can't do it. I made it through the weekend only.
Loan update. I still haven't heard back from Jowanna on adding the escrow account. I'm wondering if we are actually going to have to make our June 1 payment. It's been nice to not have the payment for the past 2 weeks. We'll see what she comes back with. She may not be the most prompt in returning my calls, but I now know that she is working on my stuff even when she isn't calling me every day.
CitiMortgage now is becoming a thorn in my side. I started the paperwork with them as soon as Jowanna got back to me on the terms of our modification. I let them know what the terms are and was told that they could do nothing until my paperwork with B of A was finished. Finished? Final paperwork and new signed mortage papers could take up to a year to get. It seems a little strange that they would wait that long to start their 8 month process for modification. I would understand if they wanted to wait until the 3 month trial perios was over, but final paperwork seems a little strange.
We haven't paid the CitiMortgage 2nd mortgage since March 1. I am officially on the shit list for Citi. I got a very confrontational phone call from one of their people last night. He was just plain rude and told me that he couldn't believe that I was so nonchalant about missing my mortgage payments. I clarified that it was just my 2nd mortgage I was missing, that I was aware of the credit rammafications, that I had every intention of paying back all the money that I owe Citi plus any late fees, that I was in the process of going thru the loan modification process and that as soon as my payment was modified I would return to making my payments. He was livid. After a while, after I had proved to him that I was an intelligent well informed consumer, he calmed down. He had been yelling at me about how I needed to be proactive in the modification process, and that the modification program was not a substitute for making payments. He didn't scare me one bit and I'll tell you why.....
Citi is in the second position to be paid after Bank of America. I currently owe $590,000 on a house that Zillow lists as worth about $475,000. If Citi was to try and go ahead and put the house in forclosure they would get nothing because B of A would get paid first. Forclosure would make them lose the $70,000 I owe them. If on the other hand they harass me for payments while I am trying to go thru the modification process and wait, they will get all of their money back, minus a little bit on the lower interest rate. It is in their best interest to wait. I'll put up with the phone calls and continue to be nonchalant about the whole thing because I know what is going on.
It's frustrating, but these new drugs are like little miracle pills for me. Instead of getting pissed off and hanging up or yelling at these customer service people like I usually do,I have been calm and accomodating. It works wonders.
More on my happy pills tomorrow and the sacrifices I am willing to make to be happy and normal.
Loan update. I still haven't heard back from Jowanna on adding the escrow account. I'm wondering if we are actually going to have to make our June 1 payment. It's been nice to not have the payment for the past 2 weeks. We'll see what she comes back with. She may not be the most prompt in returning my calls, but I now know that she is working on my stuff even when she isn't calling me every day.
CitiMortgage now is becoming a thorn in my side. I started the paperwork with them as soon as Jowanna got back to me on the terms of our modification. I let them know what the terms are and was told that they could do nothing until my paperwork with B of A was finished. Finished? Final paperwork and new signed mortage papers could take up to a year to get. It seems a little strange that they would wait that long to start their 8 month process for modification. I would understand if they wanted to wait until the 3 month trial perios was over, but final paperwork seems a little strange.
We haven't paid the CitiMortgage 2nd mortgage since March 1. I am officially on the shit list for Citi. I got a very confrontational phone call from one of their people last night. He was just plain rude and told me that he couldn't believe that I was so nonchalant about missing my mortgage payments. I clarified that it was just my 2nd mortgage I was missing, that I was aware of the credit rammafications, that I had every intention of paying back all the money that I owe Citi plus any late fees, that I was in the process of going thru the loan modification process and that as soon as my payment was modified I would return to making my payments. He was livid. After a while, after I had proved to him that I was an intelligent well informed consumer, he calmed down. He had been yelling at me about how I needed to be proactive in the modification process, and that the modification program was not a substitute for making payments. He didn't scare me one bit and I'll tell you why.....
Citi is in the second position to be paid after Bank of America. I currently owe $590,000 on a house that Zillow lists as worth about $475,000. If Citi was to try and go ahead and put the house in forclosure they would get nothing because B of A would get paid first. Forclosure would make them lose the $70,000 I owe them. If on the other hand they harass me for payments while I am trying to go thru the modification process and wait, they will get all of their money back, minus a little bit on the lower interest rate. It is in their best interest to wait. I'll put up with the phone calls and continue to be nonchalant about the whole thing because I know what is going on.
It's frustrating, but these new drugs are like little miracle pills for me. Instead of getting pissed off and hanging up or yelling at these customer service people like I usually do,I have been calm and accomodating. It works wonders.
More on my happy pills tomorrow and the sacrifices I am willing to make to be happy and normal.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Daily Blog Posting
Another new resolution I will try for the next 2 weeks....... Daily Blog Posting. I used to do 3 times a week and now I'm lucky if I get more than 1 a week, so to kick things off right and get things going in the right direction I'm going to try and write something interesting each and every day (excluding the weekends of course).
So far I made it through the weekend without buying any books. I am however going to the library today. It's who I am. I need the constant flux of new information or else my brain will shrivel up and die.
The lastest topic for me to research is historic house preservation and archaeology. I think I just may have found a way to mesh my lust for houses with my need to write. It's a little top secret so far, but I think I may just start moving ahead on writing that book I always talk about. I even have the first few chapters written and who the hell knows it could be a fabulous series of books, but for now I am going to research my ass off. I want to do this right. It's such a good idea I think I might even be able to sell a fiction book series on just a proposal and a couple of chapters. I know. I must be high. I can dream though. But really the idea is THAT fabulous. I know I would want to read the whole series and isn't that what it's really about..... write a book that you yourself would actually want to read.
Other than those two fabulous things this week, I am also reading The Happiness Project. I wasn't too sure of it at first. It's another writer from New York with a year long project that could very well change her life. I've read a lot of them, but this one is kind of cool. So far it blends all of the various self-help theories into one year long manifesto on how to change your life. Everyone's Happiness Project can be different depending on what you want to work on, but the author really tells all kinds of fabulous intimite details of her life while she works on what, for her, will be HER Happiness Project. I love all the juicy details.
Day 1 of two week continuous blog posting complete. Till tomorrow.
So far I made it through the weekend without buying any books. I am however going to the library today. It's who I am. I need the constant flux of new information or else my brain will shrivel up and die.
The lastest topic for me to research is historic house preservation and archaeology. I think I just may have found a way to mesh my lust for houses with my need to write. It's a little top secret so far, but I think I may just start moving ahead on writing that book I always talk about. I even have the first few chapters written and who the hell knows it could be a fabulous series of books, but for now I am going to research my ass off. I want to do this right. It's such a good idea I think I might even be able to sell a fiction book series on just a proposal and a couple of chapters. I know. I must be high. I can dream though. But really the idea is THAT fabulous. I know I would want to read the whole series and isn't that what it's really about..... write a book that you yourself would actually want to read.
Other than those two fabulous things this week, I am also reading The Happiness Project. I wasn't too sure of it at first. It's another writer from New York with a year long project that could very well change her life. I've read a lot of them, but this one is kind of cool. So far it blends all of the various self-help theories into one year long manifesto on how to change your life. Everyone's Happiness Project can be different depending on what you want to work on, but the author really tells all kinds of fabulous intimite details of her life while she works on what, for her, will be HER Happiness Project. I love all the juicy details.
Day 1 of two week continuous blog posting complete. Till tomorrow.
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